Not Another Love Story
by Lamia887
Summary: It's not just their stubborn personalities keeping Barney and Robin apart this time. Barney can only help fall more in love with her the more she rejects him, but does she actually want him too? What will it take for our favourite couple to finally get together, and stay together? 'You can't have us both.' (Vaguely canon with a twist, becomes obvious while reading) Review Please!
1. Might As Well Get Some First

_**As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too **__**fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. ~Author Unknown**_

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><p><strong>TED POV<strong>

Life, what a bitch. Not like a cute little, hipster bitch with att-it-ude, but a raging hormonal mess with nothing to do so she picks on us, the good people of Earth just trying to get by without teenage pregnancies and betrayal. Unfortunately it can just sneak up on ya',

Sometimes we all have doubts in our minds, it's only human nature right? We all have those dreary thoughts about growing old and dying alone and everything turning out wrong. Admit it, we have all went emo for brief periods of time and think everything ever is complete and utter crap?

Ok remember a time when things were real bad, like really bad. Can you honestly say it didn't get better? Bet you a dollar you can't.

I bet I'm not making sense, these thoughts clouded my mind today because this was definitely a day where I hoped we could all look back on this and say, 'I'm so glad things are better now!'

I had been planning this day for exactly a month, a wedding should be a lovely day with happy smiles and reassurance for cold feet and champagne and creepy uncles, not a quick shower, crying, silent treatment and indecision about fashion.

"Which tie, Ted?" Barney stood in front of the mirror with a forlorn expression. He didn't even look at me when he spoke, this was a side to Barney not a lot of people saw and was a kinda a rare occasion.

"Well personally, my favourite was this one," I held up the tie discarded into the corner of the carpetted room, a blue tie complete with yellow ducks. I smirked and Barney couldn't help but laugh at the memory.

"C'mon Ted," Barney made his way over to the small couch at the back of the room. He sighed as he sat down and put his head in his hands. His breath was coming out in quick bursts and for a minute I thought he was crying, he was laughing.

I walked over and sat next to him, tie-less and laughing.

"Hey man, not a great time," I patted his back, "Wanna talk about it?" Barney had been hesitant to discuss all this, It had been mostly guesswork for a lot of things these past few months and it was sort of slowing killing me with curiosity but I couldn't tell Barney that ofcourse, no point making the poor guy feel worse.

"How did we get here, Ted?" He'd stopped laughing but was still smiling.

'Cab?'

'You know what I mean, asshole.' We both chuckled and I threw an arm around his shoulder lazily.

"I really don't know, life can be a bitch. I mean you seemed happy yesterday, cold feet?"

'Frozen.' He muttered and grabbed the champagne bottle and took a long gulp.

'You did kind of rush this. What's going on man?' He just shook his head and chuckled sadly. I went on;

'Well whatever happens after today, just know you'll never get rid of me buddy,'

'Aw, dammit!' He said sarcastically. I held up my hand awaiting the inevitable high five, he couldn't resist and obliged, Barney grabbed his champagne bottle and stood up, pacing the length of the room a few times before saying,

"You are the most awesome person I know Ted. Well, second most awesome."

"First one being yourself?"

"No, a guy I know from a place called the mirror." He winked at me, usual Barney style.

I shook my head in disbelief at his mood and got up to abruptly hug my best friend. He really was a good guy underneath the surface of corruption and disfunction

"I am _so _not drunk enough for this." Barney mumbled,

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><p><strong>3 months earlier<strong>

**BARNEY POV**

I ran into McLarins holding the disk, they were going to freak when I showed them this. Lily, Marshall and Ted were having some hushed discussion and when I appeared they instantly went quiet.

"Guys, guys, guys!" I said, catching my breath, "I have here. In my hand. _Robin Sparkles 4!_"

"No way! Where'd you get it?" Asked Lily,

"Pfft, c'mon Lil' I have a TV show guy, and this is the greatest day in existence! Behold commoners, fresh material to mock the canadian for the next few weeks. It's gonna be Legen- Wait for it-" They all sighed in harmony, '-Dary!' I took a deep breath in satisfaction.

"You do realise it'll be the day hell freezes over before she lets us watch that."

'Then you better remind your mom to pack her mittens, Lil, because this is really happening!' I took my seat at the booth but ofcourse Marshall had to ruin my fun.

"She will not let us watch this, you remember last time this happened." Marshall. What a buzz kill.

"C'mon man! She'll be fine, where is she anyway?"

An awkward silence followed, they avoided my gaze.

"She's out with Brad." Ted said at last.

Brad! He completely didn't deserve her! He was six different types of douchbag and wasn't even twenty percent awesome.

"Brad? Thought she ditched him months ago." I asked calmly and in a I-don't-even-care-what-Robin-does type way.

"She's been seeing him, we didn't want to say because, you know.." Ted trailed off looking away.

"Pfffft, I, what? You think I care? C'mon, seriously. I do not _feel _anything about..I mean guys. Guys. Seriously..." I grabbed a random glass of Scotch from the waitress's tray as she walked past and drained the glass. "I'm fine!"

They all looked at me in disbelief. The nerve! Like I even cared what Robin did, I'd broken up (well cheated) with Nora months ago and Robin had made things pretty clear.

"Barney, honey, there is no shame in showing your feelings-"

"I don't have feelings for Robin, Lily! I mean, if ya know, she wanted- No. I, Barney Stinson hereby banish all feelings.'

"Ok dude, whatever you say," Marshall patted my back and gave me _that _look. You know that look you reserve for crying babies in grocery stores and stray dogs. Pity but also kinda glad it's not you that has to deal with it.

"Ok, Gentlemen-"

"Hey!" interjected Lily,

"Shh mommy. As I was saying, watch how a man without _feelings_ gets a girl. A real man." I stood up and adjusted my suit collar and made my way over to my a girl at the bar.

She was tall and blonde with deep blue eyes, not my usual type but, hey, I'm flexible.

"Hello, I'm Detective John...er...Smitherson. I work for the NYPD. Mind If I ask you a few questions?" I dazzled her easily, although she looked slightly shocked at my approach. She knew what I was doing.

"What kind of questions? Detective..." She grinned a perfect smile and moved closer to me. That was easy.

"Where will you be in approximately thirty minutes?" Her face crinkled in confusion as she tried to process the question. Ok, so not my best line but I'd planned on thinking while I bought her a drink. Who knew she'd be this easy?

"I don't know where I'm going to be in thirty minutes? What kind of question is that?"

"Well my apartment is thirty minutes from here, so that's one option. If you want to that is." I smirked and could tell she'd go for it. Although I was happy to go on home with this one, but Robin was still in my mind. How was her date going? Great probably. She'll marry him. I won't ever get a chance again.

I sighed internally as the girl said;

"My name's Rebecca, Detective," she giggled, I had let my mind wander a bit but was suddenly jerked back to reality.

"Who? Oh, me. Yes I'm a Detective. Let's go Robin,"

"Rebecca."

"Oh, right. Sorry Rebecca."

I slipped my arm around her waist as we went to get to my car we reached the door of the bar it was flung open.

Robin walked in. Hand in hand with a guy with floppy hair and a muscle tee.

"Barney! Hey!" She greeted me, looking awkward. "This is Brad, Brad this is Barney."

'Yeah, we've met before.' He said gruffly.

"Who's Barney?" Rebecca asked, confused.

"Ah-ha, erm, nobody. Lets go honey," I shuffled Rebecca out the door, "Nice to see ya Brad, Seeya Robin!" She gave me a sorta disappointed look as I tried unsuccessfully not to meet her gaze.

As we got into my car, I felt my heart break a tiny little bit inside. Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to barrell roll right out of the car, screw the consequences and run back to the woman I lov- really, really like. Might as well get some first though.

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><p><strong>AN: 7/9/12 Sorry this first chapter is so short and kinda bad, I promise they do get longer in later chapters and better in my opinion. So why not give me a chance? Would mean the world to me and I give shououts to every single review so help a girl out? Thanks, ali ^-^ x**


	2. You Really Are Beautiful, Scherbatsky

TED POV (PRESENT)

"Barney, tell me why you're doing this? It's so obvious you don't want to tell me, but c'mon we're supposed to be best friends, I know you. I know you don't care about things like the colour of a stupid tie, I know it's not the best circumstances but you should feel good about what you're doing for her," Barney looked at the two ties he had held up and dropped one to the floor. I watched the black silk hit the red, carpetted floor noiselessly.

Barney kept quiet as he put on the dark green tie, I thought he wasn't going to answer when he said;

"Look, Ted, It's complicated. I'm helping her in more ways than you think, it's not just about some stupid Green Card." He adjusted his collar roughly and went over to the dresser.

"What's it about then?" I was almost shouting, why was he being so frustrating?

"Ted, listen, I... it's not my place to say right now, can you just...please?" This was obviously something serious, I decided to just drop it. He shouldn't feel like this right now, not at a time like this.

"Sorry, man. Hey, don't worry about it right now, ok? Lets just finished getting ready and get a real drink before we go out there." Barney looked down at the champagne miserably and chuckled.

"Yeah, you're probably right, have you saw my flower thing?" Barney shrugged on the jacket from the dresser and looked around the small room for the flower.

"Yeah, its here," I picked it up from the side of the stained glass window and walked over to him, I stopped. I didn't know where it went, "Ah, Barney...?"

He gave me a confused look and took the flower. Barney laughed and put the flower behind his ear, "Does this look right?"

We were both laughing when Lily came into the room, she rolled her eyes at us and waddled into the room, heavily pregnant.

"Guys, it's not time to be messing around," She walked over and plucked the flower from behind his ear and slipped it into his coat pocket. "There, perfect, you look so handsome." Lily began sobbing and went to put here arms around Barney but had to settle for Ted as Barney had hit the other side of the room as soon as she started crying. Same old Barney.

"Sorry, Lily. Emotional women, not my thing." Lily had been crying over the smallest of things recently because of the baby. But this wasn't a small thing.

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><p><strong>2 MONTHS, 2 WEEKS AGO<strong>

**ROBIN POV**

I lay in my bedroom, watching True Blood. I wanted to call Brad back, tell him I didn't mean all those things I said. But I just couldn't, I couldn't lie to him anymore. I couldn't lie to myself. It just wasn't fair.

My sister Katie was coming for a visit with her boyfriend, Kyle. They'd be here in an hour and I had already cleaned the whole place, I was glad she was coming, we really needed a good catch up and with the way things ended last time she was in New York, I hope she's made some good decisions since then. Kyle seemed like a fairly nice kid, as long as he was treating my sister with respect then I approved.

I had a bit of a headache so I took some pills and switched off the TV. I had the phone in my hand the entire time I was pottering about my apartment, cleaning things that were spotless and moving things around.

With a half hour left I decided to give into temptation and call Lily to rant about the break up with Brad.

I dialled the number and sat perched on the couch anxiously. After three rings someone picked up, It wasn't Lily.

"Hello, Lily's cell," Barney's smooth voice said from the receiver.

"Em, Barney it's Robin. Is Lily around?"

"Oh, Robin, ah, Hi. Lily's just went baby shopping with Marshall, they won't be back for a while, I'm just hanging with Ted" I was disappointed Lily wasn't around, I really needed someone to talk to about this but Barney was the last person I wanted to talk about it with.

I sighed into the phone,

"Ok, well tell her I called, bye."

"Wait, Robin, how are you? You know, because of the thing?" Barney seemed uncomfortable. I hated that it was like that between us, I had so many feelings for him and just wanted things to be back to the way they were.

"Fine actually, I've been doing ok and..." I trailed off. No more lying. "Actually, I feel horrible, Barney. It's been hard these last few days, especially when Lily and Marshall have been so busy with the baby, Ted's been seeing that girl Rebecca, I just feel like I have nobody to talk to. Sorry for laying all this on you," It felt weird to say it all, especially to Barney, but felt so good to get it off my chest.

"Robin?"

"Yeah, Barney?"

"I'll be there in five." And with that he hung up. I stared at it, Incredulous. I mean yeah, I wanted him to be here, just not _now. _Kyle and Katie would be here soon and I looked a mess.

Suddenly I felt the stupid need to go and fix myself quickly before he got here. I raced to the bathroom and combed out my hair that had finally grown down past my shoulders and put on the tiniest bit of mascara.

I heard three loud knocks at the door a few minutes later and went to answer it. I took a deep breath as I opened the door and before I even had time to take him all in, he had grabbed me in a hug. It felt nice to be held by him, it reminded me of better times.

"What's going on, Scherbatsky?" I couldn't hold back the tears that fell noiselessly onto his shoulder, Barney noticed and I _noticed _that he didn't immediately let go of me and leave at full speed.

We both pulled away and I motioned for him to come in as I closed the door. Barney sat at one of the stools in the kitchen and was watching me as I walked in and he said;

"Want me to make you coffee?"

"Yes, please, no milk and-"

"-two sugars? Yeah, I remember." He smiled warmly at me. I closed my eyes until he had made me and himself a cup and he sat across from me. He watched me for a full minute while I sat staring at the cup.

"Wanna talk about it? I've got all the time in the world, well until seven that is," I chuckled and looked up. Our eyes locked for a split second and I felt a bit awkward.

"It..just seems like every relationship I've tried to make work for this past while just hasn't worked because I just don't want it to work, that sounds so bad but it's true. I liked Michael and everything, but he asked me if I thought we had a future and I just said no, because, well I didn't want there to be one..."

"I kinda understand what you mean, like there's a distraction. Something stopping you from moving forward with someone else. "

"Yeah! There's something stopping me from wanting me to go somewhere with these guys, I just don't know what it is," I laid my head onto the table and sighed. I heard Barney get up and walk around to my side of the table. He sat in the chair beside me but swivelled around to meet my gaze as I looked up.

"Robin, listen, you're such an amazing person, these just aren't the right guys for you. Believe me, your perfect guy is out there. You just have to open your eyes and see that he's right there." A smile spread across my face, Barney knew just the right words to say. I suddenly felt the atmosphere change, from being careful and awkward to being...normal. With a hint of something else.

"Thankyou, Barney, you know just how to cheer me up. I'm glad we talked about this," Barney put his arms around me and I melted into him. I'm glad we were friends again,if nothing else. I knew he didn't feel _that _way about me anymore.

He pulled back but held my arms still and looked at my face. Brown eyes met blue eyes and I swear something happened inside me then. It felt silly, but it looked like maybe he was having those feelings for me again. I quickly shrugged off the thought, though, there was no point getting my hopes up.

"You really are beautiful, Scherbatsky," I felt myself go pink.

"Ah, thanks," I looked away embarassed. Barney, adorably, lifted up my chin so that I was looking into his eyes again. I could have imagined it but I thought I saw him lean forwards slightly and unbelievably I did too.

Just at the most vital time of our moment, I heard the front door slam open and my sister bellow through the whole place;

"Robinnnnn! We're here!"

I snapped back to reality as quick as lightning and ran to greet my sister. I pulled her into a hug just in time to see Barney snap out of it too and shake Kyle's hand. He looked normal but I could see something else there, he seemed unfocused and distracted. He looked over at my sister and gasped;

"Whoa, Katie, what the hell?"


	3. The World Was Falling Apart

TED POV (PRESENT)

When Lily left the room a few minutes later, it was just me and Barney again. We didn't speak for a couple of seconds; although it felt like hours. Finally though he said;

"Ok, looks like we're ready. Nothing to stop us now." Barney tried to smile but it failed miserably and changed to kind of a wince.

"C'mon, man, It's not so bad! Lets get you a glass of whatever the hell you like and relax. We still have time and you look like you need it," Barney nodded and finally managed a genuine smile.

"That is, the best thing I've heard all day, my friend. Let's roll," We hurried out the door and down the hall to the bar in the function room. The room was large and well lit but it still seemed cozy, It was a good setting for a wedding reception.

There wasn't anyone else in the room, even behind the bar.

"Should I go and find somebody?"

"Pfft, Ted, It's me," Barney hopped over the bar and to my absolute horror, started to pour two drinks.

"Barney, isn't this illegal or something?" I hissed,

"Oh, shut _up, _mom. Live a little," Barney replied, chuckling.

I just raised my glass and downed it. I missed times like this with Barney, it felt right.

"I've missed you, man,"

"I never left!" Barney started on his second glass but I put a hand out to stop him,

"No way, it may not be the fairytale wedding of your dreams but you will _not _be drunk during it,"

"Might make it more bearable."

**2 MONTHS 2 WEEKS AGO**

ROBIN POV

"Whoa, Katie, what the hell?"

He looked outraged, I had been distracted and hadn't looked at her properly, but now that I did I noticed the small but very definate baby bump on her petite hips.

Katie giggled nervously and looked around at each face. Barney, in absolute stunned horror, Kyle; grinning like a fool, then me. blank. I couldn't breath, the world was falling apart. She was sixteen years old.

"Um, Robin," Katie began hesitantly, using her arms to try to cover the bump, "I know what you're thinking, but we can handle this, Kyle has a job at the arcade back home and we've been staying at his parents, they're going to help us find a place," Katie came towards me but I, shocking even myself, stepped back out of her reach.

Katie looked traumatised when I automatically didn't hug her and just accept this. that's what always happened, she always got what she wanted. Dad tried to make her do Hockey and when she refused he just let it go, she had gotten away with sneaking out nearly every night and when I was her age that house had felt like a prison.

We all stood in silence, Katie and Kyle in the doorway; standing awkwardly. Kyle broke the silence;

"Well, clearly we have quite a lot to talk about. Robin, where can I put these bags?"

It took a minute for me to realise he was speaking to me;

"Um, spare bedroom. Katie knows where it is." I still hadn't made eye contact with anybody since I saw the _baby bump. _

Katie and Kyle shuffled off to the room, I still couldn't move. Barney came over and put his arm around me.

"Robin, you know I'm here for you, anytime you need-"

"Barney," I squirmed out from his reach, "I think you have to leave now, I'm sorry."

An odd look crossed his face but then he was right back to being Barney,

"Yeah, cool, cool. Ya know, as I said, big date tonight at seven." He laughed and gave an awkward wave gesture on his way out. He closed the door that still hadn't been closed since Katie arrived.

I missed him instantly but knew I did the right thing, I needed to talk all this out with Katie.


	4. Why Did You Come Here Though

TED POV (PRESENT)

"Just ten minutes left, Barney," He looked up from his fourth drink and smiled lazily. Drunk.

"Ten minutes to what, Teddy?" Barney giggled loudly,

"Your wedding, Barney, c'mon man," I tried to hold him up under his arms and make my way to the door but he suddenly took all the weight from his legs and slid to the floor.

"Oh! Yes, ofcourse, my wedding. Best day of your life apparently, you know? Magical, full of love, warmth and celebration. If that's how it's supposed to be, then tell me this Teddy boy, why do I feel broken inside?" Barney slurred his words and suddenly let out a mad chuckle. "How have I screwed things up so bad? Am I a bad person? Don't answer that."

"No, you're not. But you have to get your ass out there this minute and at least try to pretend you're not horrendously drunk."

I grabbed at his arm and dragged him upright, he hiccupped and almost fell over again but regained his balance and we made it out through the door and into the hallway.

Barney stayed quiet as we walked. I never should have let him have those drinks, I hadn't known he was making his so much stronger than mine. I had three and couldn't feel the effect at all!

Barney stumbled and swore as he fell and dragged me down with him, we landed in a heap on the floor.

"Whoa...where am I? Oh, hey Ted! Why are we on the floor, man?" I sat up and just looked down at Barney, his eyes had closed and he was snoring slightly in his unconciousness. I put my head in my hands and realised she would be walking down the aisle in seven minutes and the groom was lying on the floor, drunk and unconciousness.

"What is going on here!" My head snapped up as Lily came hurtling down the hall,

"Lily, he's drunk, I'm sor-"

"How could you let this happen, Ted!"

"Lily, c'mon! I didn't kno-"

"This cannot be happening!"

"We have a bit of time before she arrives, we can-"

"She's not going to arrive!" Lily's eyes locked with mine,

"W-what? What do you mean she's not going to arrive?"

"She's gone, Ted!"

**2 MONTHS 1 WEEK AGO**

BARNEY POV

This was insane, Robin hadn't left her apartment in over a week. Lily, Marshall and Ted didn't even know about Katie visting, never mind the fact that she was all pregnant.

It was already 10am and the girl from last night was facedown on the pillows, still fast asleep. Snoring. Attractive.

She vaguely looked like Robin, only not as pretty ofcourse. I just stood there in my room staring down at her like some creepy weirdo. She stirred and the snoring stopped, I froze then ran at full speed out of the bedroom, into the living room, into the hallway and into the elevator.

I looked down at myself and realised I was just wearing my boxers and socks. Dammit.

I had two options. Option one; go back upstairs and explain to that girl that last night was a mistake and she would have to be leaving as soon as humanly possible because looking at her only made me feel disappointed with myself for falling in love with my best friend. Option two; go out in public looking ridiculous, walk to Ted and rant about my life and let the poor girl realise that every word I said to her last night was a complete and utter lie.

Option two was the more desirable of the situations.

The elevator doors opened on the ground floor and I walked out with my head held high, I got a funny look from the doorman and managed a 'Hey, how are ya," as I walked out into the cold New York sunshine half naked.

I was too preoccupied to care about the stares I got, which were surprisingly few, real New Yorkers had saw it all. This is probably illegal in Canada.

I didn't rush, what was the point? Isn't a guy _running_ down the street half naked slightly more suspicious than somebody casually strolling enjoying the nice day.

I reached Ted's apartment soon enough, I walked up the stairs, careful not to touch the hand rail because I'd hate to think about what's touched it. I reached their floor and what I saw next nearly floored me.

Just closing the door leaving Ted's apartment was Nora.

10 MINUTES EARLIER

TED POV

I stared at my Lucky Charms and couldn't help smile. Rebecca had stayed over for the first time last night and I couldn't have imagined it woulds have gone so well.

She was still asleep and I was lying on the couch, greatest mood ever, when there was a knock at the door.

I hopped from the couch and swung the door open. I couldn't catch the bowl in time before it hit the floor with a loud bang that made me hear noise from my room, I must've woken Rebecca.

I couldn't contain my shock at seeing Nora, Barney's Nora, standing there awkwardly smiling.

'Hey, Ted. Eh, may I come in please? It's kinda important.'

I couldn't even respond, I just half laughed and stepped aside to let her in.

'It's about Barney, I know we broke up, but I need him urgently and he didn't answer the door at his apartment he must have been asleep...and he didn't answer his phone? I don't know what's going on righ-'

'Why did you come here though?'

'I'm sorry, I guess I just didn't know where else to go, Ted,'

The door of my room opened and Rebecca emerged, looking crumpled but gorgeous, I quietly thanked God (Barney) for bringing her into my life.

'Ah, Hi. Who's this Ted?' She was just wearing one of my shirts that went down to her knees and seemed embarassed, I smiled slightly.

'Barneys...ah, friend? Nora.'

'Ex-girlfriend,' Nora added, 'I actually need to speak with him quite soon, so I'll just be going, tell him I was looking for him?'

'Ofcourse,' I said, 'Seeya, then'

She turned and went to the door, lingering on the handle,

'I've missed you all Ted,' She gave a sad smile and continued out the door.


	5. And You're Taking A Vacation?

**Thanks for the Reviews so far! It means so much so please, please, please keep them coming and I will try my best to keep the chapters updated quickly! :)**

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><p>BARNEY POV (PRESENT)<p>

Why was there a carpet on my face? ahh, I was on the floor. I think.

I opened my eyes and couldn't stop blinking, the room...hallway? Was all just a blurry mess. I might have slighty over did it with the drinking.

I opened my eyes wide and tried to gather my thoughts, today was important. What day was this? Thursday? Oh, no it was the day of the wedding. _My _wedding that is.

It all came back to me in one earth shattering moment. Nora. Robin. The Wedding. The...Marshall..?

'Man, get up, get up now this is insane,' Marshall got real close to my face and started slapping me to get me up.

'What, I mean what..is...where is Ted?' I managed to slur as I got to my feet,

'I don't know if the Wedding's gonna happen if we don't get in there and do something about those guests, it's crazy in there and there's only so much charm I can present to one room, ya know?'

I lolled my head to the side, trying to process what he was saying. What _was _he saying?

'What are you, ah trying to say, Marshmallow?' Then I laughed. Uncontrollably.

'Dude, a wedding is not a wedding without the bride and groom, we might as well get half way there before all hell breaks loose in that church!'

Half way there? Bride and groom...?

It clicked,

'Marshall, where is she?'

Suddenly I felt kinda clear headed, but only a bit.

'We...don't know man. She left a note, but Lily was with her like a minute before Ted found it so they're gonna try to find her, I'm sorry but maybe you can understand it. We sure as hell can't.'

Marshall held out a kinda crumpled, pink notepad page to me. I took it and smoothed it out on a small table in the middle of the hall.

_Barney,_

_Can't let you go through with this. I'll be in touch and explain. Sorry for everything._

**2 MONTHS 1 WEEK AGO**

ROBIN POV

'...And then this crazy guy just came right up to me and was all, ' well at least he isn't some trash working in a convenience store blah, blah, blah,' so I punched him right in the face and that's why I'm working in the arcade now. It really isn't that bad I mean I get to play the games completely for free after hours and...' Kyle droned on and on and on at breakfast, I nodded and made positive noises when necessary but to be completely honest I still wasn't over the fact that this guy knocked up my baby sister.

'-Kyle, sorry to interrupt but how much does this job at the arcade pay?' Kyle nursed his coffee cup and cleared his throat,

'Well, ah they aren't paying me yet see I just started working there like last week-'

'And you're taking a vacation? Ok, Kyle I want you and Katie to stay here in New York. Until the baby is born and you get a job that pays you in real cash rather than in letting you play arcade games in the middle of the night,' I scowled and leaned back in my chair. I remember one night a long time ago when Barney was drunk and leaned back too far in this very chair and fell, we all couldn't stop laughing. I smiled at the memory but it quickly retreated when Kyle began again,

'Robin, that's very kind of ya but trust me, I got this,' He got up and actually winked at me, how disgusting.

As he was helping himself to some of my doughnuts, Katie appeared from the bedroom looking crinkled and tired. Her hair was sticking out at all angles and yesterdays makeup streaked her face.

'Katie, you should really take off your makeup at night because although you love to think your such an adult, you do have teenage skin.' I heard the venom in my words. If looks could kill.

'Thanks Robin but I can take care of myself,' Another dirty look before a smile spread across her face and she kissed Kyle. Ugh.

'Katie, I was just telling Kyle all about how you two are going to be staying here for a while. I'll have my friend Marshall find him a real job so that he will actually be able to-'

'No.'

'No? Wow, didn't know you were capable of that word. But I don't want my niece or nephew to go without all because their father's lazy ass won't get a real job!'

'Hey, I do have a real job! You can't control her decisions forever, _Robin_.'

'You stay out of this, you've ruined your lives! This is ridiculous! So stupid! You could have waited, I know protection doesn't always work but nobody's this-'

'Robin! Katie and I...Well, we planned this. We wanted this, a baby I mean. We're in love so why wait?'

Speechless. I couldn't even form words.

Katie stood at the counter smiling at me. Smiling! The nerve!

I don't think I've ever been this angry in my entire life.

'Katie, I think I need to talk to you about something about me you don't know.'

Katie's smile faltered but she agreed and sat at the table with me, Kyle stayed there.

'Kyle, this is actually something I wanted to talk to katie in private about if you don't mind,'

'Whatever you need to tell me, you can tell him, we're a team,' Katie smiled warmly at him and grabbed his hand. He sat next to her, both of them looking at me expectantly.

I sighed,

The sun cast strange shadows onto the kitchen table, weird swirls and loops. Confused, I looked to the window to see what was causing this. A photo frame with the design sat on the old coffee table I'd had for years.

Intrigued, I went to the frame and picked it up, it was a photo of Katie and me when she was just a baby and I was around fourteen, we were in front of our parents house in Canada with the family dog standing loyally by our side. She was chubby and smiley and I was all braces and perm, it made me chuckle.

'I hope you don't mind Robin, I bring it everywhere.' Katie gave me a sad smile as a tear escaped my eye.

Katie hopped off the chair and charged over into my arms. We cried and hugged for what seemed like a lifetime and just when I thought things were going to be better, Katie's sobbing would shake her and I would be reminded of the baby bump that shouldn't be there.


	6. My Most Convincing Fake Smile

**Hi, Thanks again for the amazing reviews! Please keep them coming and I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

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><p>LILY POV (PRESENT)<p>

'Have you tried calling her?' I was desperately trying to keep up with Ted as we raced through the hallways, checking rooms and occasionally asking people we met along the way if they had saw the _bride._

'I don't have her number!' Ted had swung open the door to yet another empty room when he finally stopped. He was leaning against the wall and threw his face into his hands. 'What...are we going to do? This is, just so...Bad!' Ted banged his fist against the wall and slid down the wall until he was resting on the plush carpet.

I awkwardly settled myself down beside him and put an arm around his shoulder. This wasn't good for him right now, he worked the hardest to make today amazing for Barney and now all this.

Tears stung my eyes and I tried to blink them away but I really couldn't help it. By now all the guests would be in the church, wondering where Barney was and waiting for the bride. I wouldn't want to be the one telling that crowd that the bride had gone bye-bye, and it most certainly wouldn't be Ted.

'Aw, Lil. I didn't mean to make you cry,' Ted composed himself and helped me up, he put his arms around me and I selfishly let my tears run onto his shoulder, 'We'll get right through this, you'll see. So will Barney, who knows maybe this is a good thing, I wish I knew how Barney feels about this he wasn't exactly looking forward to the wedding.'

'He wasn't? He seemed so excited though!'

'Lily, apparently this whole thing was so she could stay in the states, Visa expired or something like that.'

'And to think I thought this was some spontaneous, romantic thing. Guess I should have known, I mean it's Barney after all,'

'Hm, don't underestimate him. He wants all the same things we want in life. What you and Marshall have, even if he's too proud to admit it.'

Ted released me and took my hand,

'Gonna be ok, kiddo?' He asked and I smiled genuinely, for the very first time that day.

'Just fine, Mosby.'

**2 MONTHS 1 WEEK AGO**

BARNEY POV

Nora was just leaving Ted's appartment and froze when she saw me,

'Barney! There's something I really, really have to talk to you about,' She looked me over, saw my appearance and winced. 'It's obviously not a very good time but it's so important can we please talk?'

No, no, hell no. Not this. Not now.

'Hey...Nora, yes obviously not a fantastic time. Rain check?' I threw on the fake humour. Oh, why won't she leave.

'Ah, yeah, I mean ofcourse...it's just, ya know. Urgent.'

'Well, don't be shy.'

'See, it's not really something I can just throw out there, dinner tonight? I'll cook.' She gave a hopeful smile and just as I was about to politely decline and run, I didn't.

'Yeah sure, Nora. Why the hell not, ya know?' I gave my most convincing fake smile as her head almost fell off she was nodding so much.

'Yeah, yes that's great! Um, my apartment at seven? Sound good?'

'Yep, see ya then.'

'Great, great. Bye Barney.' She went for the hug but settled for my subtle handshake, I kinda felt bad as her mood visibly dropped at this, but I decided to stop feeling guilty.

She waved as she went to the elevator and as soon as those doors closed I dropped the ridiculous 'excited' act and was in Ted's apartment like a shot.

**7PM**

I held up various ties, suddenly kinda self-concious. Why should I be? I'd look awesome anyway, but for some reason I was stuck. Eventually I just went with the black, keeping it safe.

I was still in my apartment, late for Nora's. She was expecting me already and I still had to make the journey over. I was so tempted to just go to the bar and drown my sorrows, but she was expecting me ofcourse.

I sighed and just left.

This was totally not like me, when did I become so un-legendary. Falling in love, dinner dates with exes and not knowing what to _wear?_

I needed a complete reality check, laser tag was deffinitely in order this weekend.

Ted had said to just get in, find out what she has to say, leave. Simple. I hope.

A cab was impossible to get at this time, after ten minutes some kid kicked a rock at me,

'Hey, kid watch it,' I adjusted my suit collar as a cab finally pulled up.

'Where to?'

I gave him Nora's address and leaned against the upholstery, I let my eyes shut to try to get rid of the headache and all too soon we'd arrived.

Nora's building was almost _too _nice.

My mind wandered in the elevator, eventually as usual to Robin. What was she doing? I hadn't saw her in over a week, honestly I really wanted to see her and see what was going on with her and her sister. Find out how she was feeling about all of this. Things had been going well until Katie came along all angsty and pregnant, God that was annoying. I mean, I feel bad for the kid but c'mon be careful.

The dreaded 'ding' of the elevator landing on the ninth floor.

I took a deep breath and knocked her door.

'Barney! Hi!' This time I coudln't stop the incoming hug, oh well she smelled nice.

'Hey, Nora. Something smells good,'

'Why thankyou, chicken and broccoli. It'll be another few minutes so I was hoping we could have that talk first?' Her smile was almost touching her ears, it was frankly quite creepy.

Her apartment was fairly small and she'd made it classy and nicely decorated, I'd always liked it but now I could smell the faint scent of old person I couldn't detect before.

She didn't have a dining table so I made my way to the couch after saying,

'Yeah, that's not a problem,' Trying to mimic her good mood, what the hell was up with her?

We settled on the couch and she curled her legs up and moved a bit closer to me.

'This is going to be a big shock, Barney. Please promise not to freak out too much, ok?'

'Promise,' I made a little cross gesture over my heart.

'Well...see the thing is. Ah, Barney I'm pregnant with your baby...'

This...could not be happening. My head was spinning and I didn't even realise she was still talking, I was going to faint or...throw up or something...

'...Barney, are you listening! We have to get married, I won't have anybody think I'm some tramp! Barney!'

'Wha-...What are you saying? Nora, I'm not ready to be a kid's dad, this is insane!'

'Barney you promised not to freak out!'

'How can I _not. _Are you sure?'

'Yes, one hundred percent, I don't want my baby to grow up without a dad. Can't you see how amazing this is?'

She took my hand and beamed at me. Why were all the women going insane? If this was true, she was right. The baby couldn't grow up without a father, but..why did it have to be me! And _amazing? _How is this situation even close.

'How is this amazing, Nora?' I felt exausted all of a sudden, as if I was in some sort of realistic dream I was desperately trying to wake up from.

'We can be together! I know this isn't an ideal way, but so what? We can get married and the baby and I can live with you, oh Barney this is so romantic!'

She threw her arms around me and I really didn't have the heart to shake her off. I didn't want to marry her but now it seemed I had no choice, I may be absurd and impulsive but I was traditional.

All I'd went through with Robin, trying to win her back and finally moving on from Nora was all gone in an instant, what was the point in me loving Robin when I could never have her?. I'd went from single Barney desperately trying to get the girl to Barney the father getting married to the wrong girl in a matter of minutes.


	7. Por Favor?

**TED POV (PRESENT)**

We were driving back from the church in the cab in a complete daze.

Marshall and Lily were holding hands and staring into nowhere.

I had Barney draped awkwardly over the back seat mumbling obscenities about Nora to me as I lounged in the front seat.

A notably absent Robin hadn't contacted any of us for weeks ever since finding out about Nora and Barney, besides one phonecall to Lily the very next day which I was told was top secret.

'Pssst,' Barney started to undo my tie and I slapped him away with a stern 'get-the-hell-off-me-bro' type of stare.

He was relentless. 'No, Ted, listen. I have a secet you can't tell anybody! You have to super secret swear on your actual life not to tell nobody!' He was whispering vodka soaked weirdness into my ear and all I wanted to do was throw him out of the damn car.

'What Barney!'

'Ted, Ted my man. I, Barney Stinson, am going to be-' He started giggling uncontrollably and the smell of his breath was quite frankly too much for me to handle.

'Barney, you're breath is simply too much for me to handle, buzz off. 'K bro?'

'Teeeddddd, cmon!'

Silent treatment.

'Ted.'

...

'Ted!'

'No Barney.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No way, I'm tired man.'

'Por favor?'

'What?'

'It's please in Spanish.'

'So?'

'Por favor?'

'No!'

'Por favor?'

'Damn you! What? What the hell do you need to say?' I completely spun around in my seat and gave him my most evilest of evil looks.

'That'll be 12 dollar fifty, please thankyou.' The cab driver told us,

'Saved by the bell, Barnabus.' Marshall teased.

**1 MONTH AGO**

**Barney POV**

For over a month now I hadn't even saw or heard one damn thing about Robin and it was killing me. I'd convinced myself the more time I spent with Nora the less annoying she would be and I have genuinely been trying to make the relationship work.

I slept with her, let her make me dinner, drive me to work, everything that made her happy! And I still only wanted Robin. What was wrong with me? Me, Barnabus, whipped?

Walking along the street with a bagel and a coffee I felt like a major douchebag, which was pointed out to me by a rude, short bald hipster going past me on a bike.

Halfway back to Nora's place, I spotted Ted's girlfriend Rebecca across the street. It was slightly awkward between us seeing as I hit that before he did, and I was sorta the reason they got together when I made him take her out for coffee to get rid of her the morning after.

She saw me and waved. I waved back. She smiled. I smiled. She gestured for me to come over, pointing into a flower shop, probably getting ideas about the stupid wedding next month.

I didn't see the bus that rounded the corner at that moment, but I certainly did feel it when it smacked into me and knocked me onto the road unconscious.

(**Meanwhile) Ted POV**

'Lily's cheating!'

'I'm totally not! Liar!' Lily called back to me as I grabbed another pillow from her pile on the floor.

Yes thirty somethings playing a kids game with pillows, so mature but let the good times roll and all that.

'C'mon Lilypad, we'll team up on him he won't stand a ch-' just as Marshall made his way to Lily I threw a pillow that hit him smack in the face. Who doesn't stand a chance now?

'Ok now, guys watch the bump, baby girl's fragile.' Lily gave her tummy a little pat.

'Girl? Lil, it's definitely my son in there, I can tell by the kicks that he's gonna be ace at soccer.'

'Marshall, I need a shopping companion! Robins just about as girly as a pair of chinos so I need a little shopping pal.' She have a cute little smile and Marshall couldn't help but hug her tightly.

I chuckled at this little scene and thought of Rebecca. Would this go the distance? I thought I loved her and she was certainly marriage material. I was just thinking about what our kids would look like when my cell phone rang.

Lily and Marshall continued with the cutesy banter while I went to the kitchen to answer the call from Rebecca's number.

'Hello gorgeous, what's up?' I answered,

'Ted! I've been trying to reach you, signal's terrible in this stupid hospital.' Her shaky voice really worried me, she only does it when something quite bad happens.

'What? Rebecca what's wrong, what happened to you? Why are you in the hospital, baby! '

'Not me, it's Barney, he got hit by a bus, dammit Te-.'

'What? A bus, how the hell did that happe-'

'Just get down here Ted, I don't know what to do, yelling at me won't help anything.'

'You're right, I'm sorry, is he okay though?'

'Concussion, are you on your way?'

'We're leaving now, see you soon.'

Lily and Marshall came in after hearing me yelling,

'What's wrong Ted?' Lily questioned.

I put my hand over the receiver and told them about Barney. I said bye to Rebecca and she told us what hospital they were in.

The hospital was a short ride away and when we got to Barney's room, we were surprised to find that Rebecca was there but there was no Nora.

**Barney POV**

The next thing I remembered was waking up in the hospital.

I wish I could have forgotten how close Nora's face was to mine when I woke up.

'Barney Bear, you're awake!' Another one of her famous ear-to-ear grins I was so fond of. Ha ha.

'Ahh, yeah apparently so...Where is Rebecca?' I got up in the bed and saw Nora was the only one in the room and the blinds were closed.

'Oh, I had to throw her and all your other little friends outta here, didn't want to cause my Barney Boo and stress when you woke up now did I?' She gave my nose a little tap. How cute. And disgusting all at the same time.

'Umm, so they were here?'

She nodded like one of those little model dogs you used to get in cars that bobbed their heads.

'And you threw them all out, is that correct?'

Another manic nod.

'Nora that's insane! Am I allowed to leave here, where's the doctor?'

'They told me to tell one of the nurses if you woke up, but I don't really want any of them touching you, so I'll just take you home now and take care of you!'

This was fast becoming something like a scene from the film Misery by Steven King and I really didn't want to be apart of it.

'Nora...We have to let the doctor see me. And I wanna speak to Ted. Or Rebecca to see what happened beccause it's kinda foggy at the minute.'

'You got clipped on the head by a bus, fell unconscious, came to hospital under observation and now I'm taking you home. And by home I mean my apartment. You're not leaving my sight, Barney Bear!' The grin widened, if that's even physically possible. 'Plus, you don't need those friends of yours, they didn't even call me when you got hit by the bus! I had to find out from the guy behind the bar in Mclarins who knew before me! Can you even imagine how embarassing that was for me! God!'

'Nora, you cannot control my life like this! I'm a human being for christs sake! This is completely un-legendary!'

'Stop yelling at me, Barney Stinson! You're going to stress out the baby, his ears are just developing I dont want you to rupture an eardrum already!'

'What's going on in here?' A nurse popped her head in the door,' I told you to inform us if he wakes up, miss.' The nurse said cooly.

The nurse came over to me and started to shine a light into my eyes and make me look back and forwards following her finger.

'Have you experienced any dizziness or light-headedness since you woke up?'

Nora mimicked the nurse in a high pitched voice under her breath and received a death stare from us both in return.

'Nope, I've been fine.'

Nora then did the same thing to me when I spoke. I sent her a look.

'Have you got a headache?' She asked me, tilting my head back.

Nora fiddled with the chart on the end of the bed, causing it to land on the Nurse's foot.

'I'm pretty sure I'm about to have one.' I replied.

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><p><strong>PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!<strong>

**What do you think of this new, crazy Nora?**

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	8. Where'd She Get A Crowbar?

LILY POV (PRESENT)

'Robin!' I threw myself into Robin's arms as soon as I saw she was in our apartment when we got home. 'Where have you been, girl? I missed you!'

'Thinking things over...I guess. Listen there's something I havent told you guys. My sister Katie came to visit me last month.'

'Aw that's nice, why didn't you tell us?'

Marshall came in carrying a box for a baby basket that had just came in the mail.

'Lil, does this need to be assembled or is it already ma-,' He looked up from the box, 'Robin!' Marshall dropped the dang box and gave Robin and hug. Guess it'll need to be assembled now.

'Hey, Marshman!'

'Scherbatsky, where the heck you been?'

'Around.'

'That's nice, Miss Vague. Quick, random dance party!'

'No Marshall.' Robin and I chimed. We all laughed, it was nice right now between us. Robin was back! Woo!

'As I was ah.. saying guys,' Robin began, 'Katie came to visit last month and sorta dragged along a little erm...Surprise.'

'Did Kyle come with her?' I asked,

'Well yeah, unfortunately, but she also brought someone else...'

'Aw she didn't bring your dad did she?' Marshall said. Robin and her dad never really saw eye-to-eye, not ever since she was younger and he wouldn't accept she was a girl.

'No. Ahh, I'll just come out with it. Katie's pregnant.'

We just looked at her. And looked. What do we say to that?

More stunned silence.

And even more. Man, this was getting awkward.

Marshall cleared his throat and began to say something but ended up looking away and stopped talking.

I jumped in. 'Wasn't the whole message of her last visit that she was going to wait, ergo she wouldn't get pregnant and ruin her life so soon..?'

'Don't you think I damn well realise this, Lily.' Ooh Robin came back a feisty one.

'Well, ah sorry. What's going to happen then? Is she er, keeping it?'

'She was four months gone when she appeared on my doorstep. I've talked to her a lot since she arrived. I gather from all this that she doesn't really want the baby, but that Goddamn douchebag Kyle is all up for it. I don't know what to do, I feel like she's being so pressured. When she's with me her attitude towards the baby is completely different to when Kyle's there.'

I did feel bad for Robin but this was such a depressing day, I thought me and Marshall could come back and relax for a while. I was like nine months pregnant after all.

'Where have they been staying?'

'Well, my dad doesn't approve at all so she can't go back home to that. I got Kyle a job working in a factory. Doesn't pay much, it's better than any stupid job he would get on his own though. They've been staying with me in the meantime.' She gave us a sad smile and we both went over and gave her a triple hug.

For the next few hours we sat with Robin, Marshall and her got the drinks out at around seven and I sat and sulked with my orange juice. Oh well! One more month and it's all the drinks she wants for mommy!

We had to discuss the wedding at some point.

'So I guess Barney and Nora are off on the Honeymoon?' Robin tried to be casual asking this question but we all knew she wanted every detail we could give her.

'Well that would be weird seeing as they didn't get married,' Oh Marshmalllow. So inappropriate.

'What? Lily please explain.' I sighed and went on to tell her how Nora had run off and left Barney with a note.

'We don't really know why she left to be completely honest, although Ted did tell us that the only reason they were getting married was because she needed a greencard. Could've fooled us though, she seems very ah...taken with him.'

'What do you mean?' Robin hadn't been around to see Crazy Nora. Lucky her.

'Well remember how much Nora liked him before?'

'Yeah,'

'Well multiply that by about a trillion and you will understand how she's been acting.'

'Wow, really that bad? Damn.'

'Yeah, she's like a woman possessed. Lucky escape for you if you ask me, Robs, I know I wouldn't wanna face that' Marshall laughed as he said this and went to the kitchen with the empty glasses.

'Wait, Lil did you say she needed a greencard? But she's from Philadelphia, why would she need a greencard for?' Wow, I hadn't thought about that.

'How do you know she's from Philadelphia?' I asked, this was getting weird.

'She told me when we first met her. Why would they make something like that up. What's going on..?'

'I don't know. I really don't.'

**Three weeks ago: Barney POV**

This was the first time I'd left the apartment that I was now supposed to call my 'home' in two days. This whole living with physco Nora thing was really getting me down, I had to sneak off to play Lasertag. Sneak off! Pfft!

I don't care if your my baby mama or not, nobody stops the Barnacle from playing Lasertag, was she insane? Oh yeah she was.

I got to the Lasertag place only to be paired up with my favourite Amigo! Tommy was only like eleven but he was the best damn lasertag player I've saw since, well me.

'Sup Barney,' He went for the high five. Granted.

'Hey, dude. S'appenin?'

'Well I wrote a story for English class about a bald paintbrush that got depressed because he couldn't show his true talent because he was bald so he jumped off the easel and died. '

'Awesome story man, what'd you get for it?'

'Two outta ten! Can you believe that? And I'm under observation now, whatever that means.'

'So unfair, I think that is a perfectly sound story my friend. Teachers don't know what they're talking about. You're a star, dude I'm serious.'

'Thanks Barney! What's going on in your life then?'

'Physco ex girlfriend became the insane, mother of my child, even more physco fiancee I really can't handle.'

'Why do you wanna marry her if you don't love her?' He looked so confused. Innocent child.

'I don't buddy, see she doesn't wanna be known as this thing called a whor-'

'Okay guys! Three, Two, One! GO!' The announcer said over the speaker and we all piled into the arena.

'Guess 'nother time, buddy. Cover me!'

The next half hour was the most fun I've had in weeks. I gave Tommy a wave and a pat on the back as I left, he was a good kid just kinda misunderstood. He reminded me of myself, I guess that's why I liked the kid.

Ugh, I didn't want to go home so soon and face the devil woman so I decided I should take a little detour to Lily and Marshall's place to see Ted, hadn't saw my Teddy boy since the brief visit Nora allowed after my little accident. I swear she was hiding my underwear. Freak.

'Teddy boy!' I called into an apparently empty apartment. Well, the door was unlocked so they gotta be in here somewhere.

'Barney...You woke me up, you cretan.' Lily appeared from the bedroom looking severely crumpled and tired.

'Aw sowwy Lilypad, where's the guys?'

They went out to get a new crib, the one we had broke because Marshall convinced himself he wasn't too heavy and well...you can probably guess the rest.'

'Ha, poor crib. Well anyways, lets go.' I grabbed her jacket from the back of a chair and threw it in her direction where it landed on the ground. She looked at it. Then me. Well, woman we don't have all day!

'Em, where are we going again...?'

'Out.'

'Specify.'

'Lilllyyy, c'mon live a little. I'm treating you and Barney Junior to a nice day out and you don't trust me.'

'His name is not Barney Junior, man.'

'Okay sorry, but lets go we really don't have a lot of time.'

'We have all day it's like one,'

'Aha! You admit we have all day! Let's make the most of this fine weather!' I went over to the curtains and pulled them open letting the sunshine spill into the room. Lily pretend hissed and covered her eyes and I chuckled.

'Fine, fine! Let's go!'

'Knew you'd come around, Lil!' I gave her forehead a quick kiss and we were off on our adventure!

We waddled (well Lily did) to a bakery down the street and had a nice bagel and coffee, decaf for preggers.

'So Barney, what made you so kind as to take us out for the day?'

'I'm just the nicest person ever, I'm definitely the nicest person I know. Fact.'

'Uh-huh, so what's the real reason?' She smirked at me. Dammit she could see right through me.

'Didn't wanna go home to the crazy lady.' Lily laughed and almost spilled her coffee.

'Barney! How's the wedding plans going?'

'Great. I think. I havent heard anything about them to be honest.' We both laughed, this was nice and it almost felt normal after all the crazy stuff that had been going on lately. I had been sworn to secrecy about the baby, it was killing me because I just wanted to tell everyone so theyd realise that I wasnt marrying this crazy bitch because I _loved _her, but because she was _making_ me. Although I did tell Ted it was for a greencard which is stupid because shes from Philly.

'She's getting more obsessive Lil, I swear she's being hiding my socks and underwear so that we have something to talk about. Our last four conversations that I've actually responded to her have all been about the mysterious undies ghost thief. Isn't that crazy?'

'She is quite a lot to handle,'

'So ah..How's Robin been?' I tried to ask casually but she saw right through me as usual. She gave me a 'look'

'I don't know to be honest, she hasn't said anything to any of us. She did call me last week and tried to tell me something but I don't really know what it was about. I told her about the engagement and she was as surprised as the rest of us, especially as you and Nora just split up like two months ago and now you're engaged to her.' I bet the thing she was trying to tell her was about Katie's baby.

God, everyone around here was having babies left, right and centre. It was like a bad soap opera that had ran out of stories for that week.

'Can I tell you something, Lily?'

'Fire away.'

'I miss her. I miss being with her, and I miss things being normal. What happened to us?' I chuckled quietly.

'Well, ya know what they say. Everything happens for a reason.' We smiled at eachother and things were looking up. Despite this horrible situation I had somehow gotten myself into.

We were walking through Central Park and kicking rocks around, just talking about movies and bands and normal things like we usually did and I just wanted to give Lily a big hug for helping me cheer up. Then it all went to hell.

'Barney, I think your phones vibrating.'

'Damn. Well this sucks.'

'Why what's up?'

'Nine missed calls and thirteen text messages from Nora is what's up. Yep one message accusing me of cheating...One accusing me of walking out on her...Three accusing me of ignoring her...Four about how much she misses me...And I don't even wanna listen to these voicemails. I better go, want me to walk ya home?'

'Yes please, Barney Bear,' She teased.

We were laughing as I walked Lily home and when I reached 'my' apartment I saw something that made me stop in my tracks as if I'd smacked right into another bus. Nora was in the street, smashing up my car, my precious, precious car, with a crowbar.

Where'd she get a crowbar?


	9. Morning, Sunshine

**Hi! Please, please Review! I really want to know what you think! Even if you're anonymous, just please Review! I'm having fun with this story so I really need to know what you think of it! Thanks for all the great reviews already, you've been great :) **

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><p><strong>BARNEY POV (PRESENT)<strong>

Ughhhhhhhhh.

It was like an army of little elves were hitting my head over and over and over again with bags of hammers. Wasn't a very nice feeling.

I managed to roll out of bed and drag my ass into my living room, where I found Ted sprawled on my couch.

'Morning, Sunshine.' I said and threw a pillow at him.

'...Barney?'

'No, it's Jesus.'

'Oh. Well, hey man.'

'Coffee?'

'Please.'

'Do you happen to know where my cell phone went?'

'Yeah, saved it from the church place before we left. You were pretty out of it.' He gave me one of _those_ looks.

'It was the only way I thought I could go through with it, ya know?'

'So you were helping her get a greencard, what's the big deal?'

'Ah, nothing, nevermind.'

'Barney, what is it?'

'Ted, has anybody ever told you that you'd seriously benefit from wearing suits more often?'

'Yes. You have. Many, many times.' He chuckled. 'How's that coffee going? Need energy, like now.'

'Keep your hair on, Teddy boy.' I went over and landed myself down on the couch beside him.

We clicked the TV on and sat for a while, but I felt like pure death in a human host so I decided to kick Ted out and return to bed for about five hundred years.

'Soooo, Ted It's getting pretty late huh?'

'Barney you freak it's ten o'clock in the morning, if you want me to leave just say,' Ted laughed and went to grab his jacket, 'And for your information your couch is not made for human comfort.'

'Guess you found it pretty comfortable then, ya know because you're not human and all?' I smirked as he opened the front door.

'Go die,'

'Love you too, Ted!' I called through the door.

Yay! Alone at last! It's felt as though I've been suffocated these last few weeks, it was so amazing to be back in my own apartment without Nora's watchy eyes.

Ofcourse I really couldn't just ignore this, she was having my baby and stuff but it was so awesome to not have somebody on my back every two seconds begging for attention or ya know, destroying my car. Man, that was truly physco Nora showing her true colours. I dated that woman before, how did I not see how crazy she was?

What really stumped me was why she wanted to be with me so bad, even though I cheated on her. I felt ridiculously bad about that obviously but I thought we were really over. Plenty of people have babies out of marriage, I coudln't help think there was something else underneath it all.

And was I ready to be a father? No, I was not is the answer. But I guess it's out of my hands right now and I better just try to give this kid a nice life if I really have to be part of it. Who knows, I might actually like being a dad. If I knew where my kid was right now.

Enough of all this emotional stuff, the Barnacle is going to bed to sleep off this hangover and nothing is going to stop me. Besides a knock at the door ofcourse.

I stood very, very still. I moved ever so slowly towards the bedroom, don't make a sound Barney Boy, just don't make any noise and they'll leave. I promise.

Another knock. Another few silent steps to the bedroom.

I was almost to the door when I heard;

'Barney? It's Kyle, I know you're there dude Ted told me. C'mon answer the door.'

Kyle? Goddamit what does Kyle want.

'Fine, fine. Hold on a minute,' I UNWILLINGLY went to answer the damn door.

Kyle came right on in like he owned the whole place,'Yeah, come right on in buddy.'

I rubbed my eyes and fell down on the couch again.

'Well?' I asked impatiently.

'Can we talk for a minute?'

'We _are_ talking, mission accomplished, we done here?'

'Um, I mean about something else,' And he sat right next to me on the couch, yeah go ahead and take a seat buddy, 'See, I just wanted to talk about Katie. I thought I was all ready to be a dad and stuff and that it would be pretty easy but-'

'Hold up a sec, Kyle. I'm not the right person to ask about this, you should go talk to Marshall, not moi.'

'But...Isn't your girlfriend pregnant?' I sat straight up, how did he know that?

'What? Kyle, where did you hear that?'

'She came to our apartment like twenty minutes ago and was talking to Robin, but I overheard. So, as I was sayi-'

'Kyle! Why the hell didn't you open with that?'

I quickly ran out the door past Kyle so I could get to Robin's place, hopefully I could catch them in time before she left.

I was halfway there when I realised I was still wearing my suit pants and weird wedding shirt and tie from yesterday, why did things like this always happen to me?

I was also barefoot.

**Two Weeks Ago: Barney POV**

I was in that great place between being asleep and awake where you can't remember any of your problems and things are great. Then I opened my eyes and saw I was already ten minutes late for work and I hadn't even gotten up yet. Damn.

In super speed I got out of Nora's bed (refusing to call it 'my' bed) and got ready and changed in five minutes, some sort of record for me.

I was almost out the door without having to speak to Nora when she emergedfrom the bathroom with a towel around her hair,

'And where do you think you are going?' She threw a hand on her hip and gave me one of her looks.

'I'm late for work, _honey_. I'll see you at five.' I went to the door but she stopped me by saying,

'Oh no, no silly. I already called your work and explained the situation. They're giving you all week off! Isn't that great, you're welcome baby.'

'Situation? What do you mean?'

'I told them that your future wife needs you this week for wedding preparation! It's like two weeks until the wedding and we need to sort a lot of stuff out, like which guests are vegetarian, is everybody clear on the times, paying the band, centre pieces, I haven't even got your suit yet...' She kept on blabbing as I sighed and sat down.

Work was the only sure way to get away from her! She had followed me to the park last week and accused me of cheating on her with Lily. Even though Lily and I have been friends for years and she was like nine months pregnant with one of my best friends. I tried to yell at her and be mad about the car but she lay on the street and cried until I forgave her so that went...well.

So for the past week we have done _everything _together and she's even asked me to act more 'in love' with her. I think I've even fooled Lily, I deserve an award for this crap.

I'm a traditional guy so I will stay with this woman, no matter how weird and...clingy she is.

But I think I'm breaking.

I wonder how Robin was doing? How was she handling this whole Katie situation? I soooo badly wanted to talk to her, help her through this but how was I going to escape Nora? I'd have to make up a plan to get out of the apartment for a few hours.

'...And is your mother even coming? She responded to the invitation asking if it was a joke! ' Nora was pacing around the room and I suddenly had a plan. I got up and went to her and put my arms around her waist. To say she looked surprised was an understatement.

'Nora baby, you need to relax,' I cooed. Yeah this was working. 'Maybe you should lie down and get some sleep for a while, ya know? Then I'll take you out for dinner tonight? How does that sound?' She took a deep breath and let it out,

'Yeah, that sounds amazing. What's got into you?'

'Don't know what you mean, Sweetie. So, you gonna go lie down for a few hours?'

'Yeah I think I will.' She smiled up at me and I kissed her forehead just for good measure, man this was wrong but I needed out of here. Like now.

She gave me a small wave as she went to the bedroom, 'Sleep tight, Nora Baby.' I added sweetly. What the hell was wrong with me?

As soon as I heard the bedroom door close, I was out like a shot. Free! Thank God!

I was walking along the street and went up to the hotdog stand I usually went to,

'Hey Marco,' I said to the vender, 'One please.'

'Sure Barney, how you been? Heard you're getting married, congrats man, to Robin too.'

'Ah, why to Robin?'

'You aren't stealing all the limelight are you! It's her wedding too, you know!'

'Er, Marco I'm not marrying Robin. I'm marrying Nora, do you remember her?'

'The one you cheated on? How'd you get her to agree to marry you? Is she stupid or somethin'?'

'Marco! I am deeply insulted! And keep it quiet but I actually knocked her up.'

'Aw, I'm sorry man. But hey, being a dad isn't so bad, I have five kids and they're a joy seriously man, It's the mom I'd trade in a heartbeat!'

'Yeah, well yeah. Thanks for the hotdog Marco,' I gave him the money with a three dollar tip and was on my way again, I actually got pretty far before I realised I was actually heading to Robin's place and I didn't know if I'd be able to handle seeing her or if she'd even want to see me at all. I was about to turn right around and go to Ted's place when I heard somebody calling my name.

'Barney! Barney, over here!' I looked to see preggo Katie calling me from across the street. I made sure to look left and right just incase any buses decided to clip me over the head again before I crossed to her.

''Sup, kid?'

'I'm not a kid, Barney!'

'Yeah, yeah whatever. So whatcha doing out here all alone?'

'Have to pick up some paperwork and some package for Kyle at the Post Office, fancy joining me?'

'Ah, sure why not? Nothing better to do.'

'Gee, thanks.'

I smirked, 'No problemo.'

'Are you really marrying your ex next week or something?'

We were walking along and I thought we could have a nice little walk without mentioning the unfortunate event, but true to my word to my baby mama, I pretended to be 'in love' with her.

'Yeah to my lovely fiancee Nora, i'm really excited.' I said in a monotone voice. Katie laughed,

'You don't seem that excited, dude.'

'What do you mean, girl? I literally cannot wait,' I muttered in a flat voice.

'Okay, whatever. For the record, I think you and Robin would be perfect together. I can totally see you being my brother-in-law. Just saying.' She looked sideways at me and gave me a tiny smile.

'Life just isn't that simple my dear, if it was I'd totally have Robin. I could have her anytime I wanted, for the record.'

'Well, for the record, you couldn't have her anytime you wanted because her standards have doubled since you.'

'She'd be lucky to have me!' We both laughed, 'For the record,' I added and smirked at her.

We arrived at the Post Office and soon discovered the delivery for Kyle was in a bigger box than I thought, and it was heavier. So heavy in fact that I had to help Katie carry it home.

'Ok dude so there's a fifty-fifty chance that Robin's gonna be here when we arrive, so what can happen is I'll look in to see if she's there and if she is then I'll get the guy in the apartment next door to help with getting the box inside, but if she isn't there then you can assist me further! Kyle was talking about going to get more coffee or something but knowing him he'll get distracted by some Toy Store or a Korean Food Market so he probably won't be there.'

'You've really thought this through, haven't you? Thanks, Katie my dear.'

'No problem, Barney boy.'

We reached Robin's building where there was unfortunately no elevator so I had to carry this stupid box all the way up to the fifth floor.

'Katie, yano what you should do?'

'What?'

'Learn how to build elevators.'

'Suck it up, you're doing fine bro. Deep breaths.'

'Hows the ah, pregnancy going?'

'I'd a rather not talk about that.' Oops hit a nerve I guess,

'Oh, okay sorry-'

'-It's fine.' She added, ooh feisty.

'Katie, do you know a way I could get to my mom's place?'

'Cab?'

'Too expensive.'

'Train?'

'Possible, but I don't like trains so, ah no.'

'Bus?'

'Ew.'

'Then I guess you're goddamn flying there, Barney.'

'Attitude, Miss Scherbatsky.'

She giggled.

When we reached the fifth floor Katie went to open the door to check for Robin, but at that exact same moment the door opened in our faces and there stood Robin. I hadn't saw her for way too long, she looked even more pretty than I remembered.

'Oh! Hey Robin!' Katie squealed, she just stood there wide-eyed, looking between Katie and I. It got super awkward super fast.

Words. Speak words, any words in the entire world would make this situation better.

'I helped Katie with Kyle's package.'

Not those words! Dammit Barney! I coughed awkwardly and shifted the box a bit.

'Oh, is that heavy?' Robin asked. Well done Sherlock.

'Yep.' Katie answered, 'Let him through, Robin before he drops it. Robin moved away from the entrance to the apartment a bit and I had to uncomfortably squish past her. She smelled like, awesome.

Another silence as I put the box on the kitchen counter,

'So, I'm gonna go now just, I'll see ya later Katie. Robin.' I nodded as I went out the door,

'Wait Barney! I know! Robin could drive you to your mom's house!'

Robin looked ridiculously uncomfortable and started to mumble an excuse just as I said it didn't matter,

'C'mon guys! What's the big deal?'

We were both too proud to admit we had a problem with it, so naturally she ended up agreeing and we headed down the stairs together. I could count like seven times one of us opened our mouths to say something and nothing came out, this was bad. It was quite frankly never awkward with her! Damn Nora, ruins everything.

We reached her car and just as we were about to get in, Kyle came running up to us carrying a Korean Market plastic bag, guess Katie was right! Whaddya know!

'Where are y'all going?'

'Just up to my mom's for a bit, have stuff to ask her.'

'We'll be back soon.' Robin said harshly to him, 'Go upstairs, Kyle.'

'Hell no! Roadtrip here we come!'

'Ugh, no Kyle!'

'You can't stop me, baby! We're like the three musketeers, adventure time,' He went to give me a high five, which I obliged to and got a dirty look from Robin in return.

'Fine! Whatever! Just get in, you ass.'

We all climbed into the car and just as we were driving off I said;

'Well, this wasn't how I thought today would go,'

I gave Robin a small, genuine smile which she returned.


	10. Missed You, Canadian

**Hi again, just a reminder to REVIEW :) Will love you forever, helps me to write and update faster so please contribute if you get a sec! :)**

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><p><strong>ROBIN POV (PRESENT)<strong>

I had such a good night at Lily and Marshall's last night, it was great to finally see my friends again after the rough few weeks I'd had. Barney had been on my mind a lot especially with the fact that he was going to marry Nora. I didn't want to admit it really but I was kinda glad he wasn't marrying her just because he chose her over me. It wasn't over yet.

Kyle and Katie were still asleep, damn teenagers slept until like noon and here I was up cleaning the mess they made in the kitchen last night trying to cook some sort of dinner for themselves. I swear I had tried to make them start cleaning up their own mess but after a few days I realised it was better just to do it myself, their cleaning skills wern't exactly worth a five-star rating.

I was just cleaning up a bag of spilled flour (Flour for vegetable soup? They really were stupid sometimes) when I heard quite a frantic hammering at the door. Jeez, calm right on down.

I swung open the door to reveal Nora wearing a wedding dress and looking absolutely fuming.

'Robin!' She said in a not-fuming voice. She actually seemed happy to see me but her face was contorted in pure rage. Wow.

'Ah, Hi Nora!' She plastered a huge, creepy smile on her face. 'Come in?'

'Yes, thank-you.' She pushed past me and shoulder bumped me kinda hard. Ow.

'What can I do for you then?' I tried to not look awkward and frankly sorta scared but must've failed miserably,

'What's the matter Robin? You look upset?'

'Well, I-' I tried to talk but she kept on talking at a higher volume,

'How do you do it!' She blurted out. Do what? Kid was craz-ayy.

'Er, you're gonna have to give me a clue here Nora.'

'He loves you! I don't get it!'

She began to cry, like, hysterically.

I felt so bad for her I immediately went and put my arms around her and guided her into a kitchen chair. I let her cry it out for a few minutes while I stood in silence at the kitchen counter. She finally looked up at me. I noticed for the very first time how pathetic she actually looked and it nearly broke my heart. Smeared mascara, snot dripping, hair a bird's nest and in her _wedding _dress still and well...I didn't know what to say to be honest.

When most of the tears had gone I just stared at her for what seemed like a while. She laid her head on the table and began to talk and I had to lean closer to just to hear what she was actually saying.

'Robin, when he cheated on me I assumed it was with some random skank he met at a bar. I thought the ex girlfriend he was obsessed with was some girl that had come into his life and left when the relationship was over. I didn't know why he didn't want me when I gave him every reason possible to need me.' She looked up at me with fresh tears on her cheeks, 'I didn't know it's been you the whole time.'

No words. None, uh huh.

Wow.

She began to cry again and I awkwardly patted her back trying to comfort her, I secretly just wanted to jump out the freakin' window and not be in this situation right now.

I heard the spare bedroom door open down the hall and nearly jumped out of my skin when Kyle walked into the kitchen rubbing his eyes tiredly and completely naked.

'Kyle! God Dammit!' I cried, covering my eyes. The nerve!

Kyle immediately covered up and started apologising, 'Oh God, I thought you had gone to work! Sorry! Damn it to hell. Wow.'

He tried to walk backwards out of the room and tripped over a potted plant I kept in the kitchen, 'Ow!' He paused when he saw Nora. 'Hey, who are you?'

'Barney's ah...girlfriend' I said casually, 'Now go get dressed! Frikin' idiot! And for the record whether I'm at work or not, you do not walk around _my _house naked! Are we clear?'

'Yes, Ma'am!' He stumbled out of the kitchen.

I turned to Nora.

'Nora why did Barney propose to you?' There I said it. It was out there. Blunt. What have I done. Let's see.

'What do you mean?' She glared up at me.

'I _mean _why did he propose to you so suddenly!'

'He loves me!' She squealed! Damn this girl was freaking me out, I needed her out of my space like, as soon as possible.

'What's going on in here?' Kyle nosily poked his head around the door frame, he looked fully clothed this time though. Thank God.

'Kyle stop being so nosey!'

'...Sorry.' He muttered and left again.

'Ok, Nora so he wasn't trying to get you a greencard.'

Her brow furrowed and she looked at me like I was crazy. Which was ironic.

'Robin I'm from Philadelphia...Why would I need a greencard?'

'Ah-ha!' I cried lamely, 'So if it wasn't about a greencard, then what's going on!'

'He loves me! He may _think _he loves you, but he proposed to me so HA.'

'No offence but you can't fall in love with somebody in like a few days, Nora.'

'Well then maybe he just didn't fall out of love with me.'

'Oh yeah, so likely. ' I said sarcastically, 'That's why he didn't call you or contact you in any way after you broke up.'

'Correction, he cheated on me, but it was obviously a horrible mistake and I completely trust him now.'

'Why did he propose to you!'

'Ok...If you really need to know. I'm pregnant.'

'With Barney's child?'

'Ofcourse.'

I vaguely heard the front door open and somebody leave, must be Kyle going to work.

I laughed in her face, 'You think you're pregnant? HA!'

'What! I am!' She pouted and I had to control another laugh.

'According to you, you'd have to be at least five months pregnant. You do not look five months pregnant.'

With my words she looked down at her stomach,

'Maybe I'm a slow, like, developer. I always was!'

'This isn't the same thing, honey.'

'But...I took a test before I went to see Barney. It was positive.'

'Nora, I'm not denying you're pregnant, but not five months it looks more like... three months? If you are.'

She gasped and sat down again shifting her eyes back and forth looking worried, she didn't speak for like five whole minutes and I was getting bored so I just said;

'Nora did you sleep with somebody before you went back to see Barney?'

She began to sob again. Great.

'...Yes.' She sqeaked out.

'What?' I turned to see Barney and Kyle standing in the doorway. Barney was _not_ a happy bunny.

**Two Weeks Ago: Robin POV**

We'd been driving for about ten minutes and I still hadn't said a word to Barney, Kyle and Barney on the other hand had plenty to talk about.

'...So you're actually telling me they let you play all the games for free? Plus free snacks from the counter?' Barney asked Kyle eagerly.

'Yeah man, completely free!'

'I think you're leaving out the fact that they didn't pay you a single dime at that dumb arcade,' I added bitterly.

'Jeez, Robin chill.' Kyle pouted and leaned back in the seat,

'Are you even wearing a seat belt Kyle?' Kyle glared at me.

Barney coughed but I definitely heard the phrase 'yes, mom' in there.

'What?' He asked me innocently, a small smile played on my lips as he sat and smirked at me.

'Nothing,' I smiled. Really smiled.

'Sooo, guys I'm starved. Food break? I wouldn't mind a nice cheesburger or something like that, oh and a milkshake. And fries ofcourse and maybe even a side of onion rings. You brought money Robin, right?'

'Kyle is like eleven in the morning, dude.' Barney rolled his eyes.

'So, what are you the Food Police or somethin'?

'See what I've had to deal with?'

'I'm sorry for you, Robs.' He called me Robs! Yay! Maybe there was hope yet that this wouldn't be the most awkward day of my _entire _life.

'Oh, so now you're on her side? Fine Barney, this just means you won't be seeing any of my insane arcade skills anytime soon.'

'Aw, but Kyle! Now I'm hurt.' Barney whined sarcastically.

'You brought this on yourself, bro. Are we nearly there Robin?'

'We're like a half hour away, why don't you sit quietly until then?'

'Not gonna happen, cupcake.'

'I had my doubts,' I turned to see Barney staring out the window, 'So, ah, Barney why do you have to go see your mom? Any particular reason?'

Barney squirmed in his sit a bit and mumbled something I didn't really catch. 'What?' I asked.

'Well um,' He cleared his throat. 'She didn't RSPV to the, uh wedding so I have to go talk to her.'

Oh.

'Couldn't you have just called her?' Kyle butted in.

'Well, it's the kinda thing you wanna say face-to-face to be honest.' The awkwardest silence in the history of awkward silences dragged itself out for a full five minutes. Kill me now, please.

Kyle eventually leaned back into the back seats and played on his phone for a little while longer. We kinda just fell into comfortable silence and it was fine, but I kinda hated that there was silence between us at all.

'Ya know, Barney...'

'Yeah, Robin?'

'You can...You know, talk to me about the wedding and Nora and stuff...if you want to, that is.' I peeked over at him to see his reaction.

He sighed deeply and leaned his head back against the head rest. 'What's there to say, really? We're gonna get married. Big deal.'

'Yeah, Barney. Big deal. If it was me getting married then you'd be all up in my face asking hundreds of questions. Spill.'

'I don't know what to say to be honest, especially to you Robin.' What did that mean? Especially to me? I opened my mouth to ask when Kyle cut me off.

'-Are we there yet, Scherbatsky?'

'Ah, yes actually.' I said surprised, wow.

We were just turning into Mrs Stinson's drive when Barney said;

'You guys don't have to come in by the way, I can try to make this quick.' Barney chuckled quitetly and I was just about to agree and settle down for a little waiting game in the car when Kyle piped up,

'No way, man. Moms' houses always equals food so I'm there. C'mon Robs.' Barney gave me a look. Or perhaps I imagined it. Oh well.

We all piled outta the car and jogged up to the house, trying to keep out from the rain that had just started. Damn rain.

Kyle went on up ahead and knocked on the door before we'd even got near to it, and when Barney's mom answered the door she looked throuoghly surprised before seeing Barney and I.

'Hey, mom,' Barney went and hugged his small mother,

'Hello, honey. Hi, Robin. And who's your friend?'

'This is my sister's boyfriend, Kyle.' She gave him a complete once-over and I swear she winked at him. Gross.

'_Hello _Kyle.' She took his hand and looked at him until he shifted his feet awkwardly,

'May we come in?' I asked politely.

'Oh! Ofcourse, ofcourse! Please. Please, come in!' She looked a bit flustered and ushered us all into the kitchen where we all sat and drank tea and made small talk until she brought up the wedding.

'Barney, I got the strangest junk mail the other day. It seemed to be a fake wedding invitation for _your _wedding!' We all sat very awkwardly while she continued, 'Just thought I would let you know, ofcourse.'

'Ah, mom. That's actually why I came out here to see you...' I took this as me and Kyle's que to leave, so we went and sat in the living room. We heard yelling, crying and eventually laughter before Barney returned from the kitchen with a somber expression on his face.

'Ok, so lets leave. Immediately.' He chuckled and went to leave but Kyle asked where the bathroom was and went so that left Barney and I.

'Go well?' I asked,

'Could have gone better, but she's agreed to come so I guess that's good.'

'Yeah. Yeah, it is.' I gave him a reassuring smile and I thought I caught the smallest of tears on the corner of his eye. I didn't hesitate to go over and put an arm around his shoulder.

'Don't worry Barney, It's ok...' I cooed. I don't think I've ever been so caring in all my life. I almost laughed outloud at myself but it would ruin the moment.

Barney looked up at me and briefly touched his lips to mine before putting his arms around my waist.

'Missed you, Canadian.'

'Missed you too, Barnacle.'

We both laughed when Kyle came back to the room, 'Ready to leave?' He asked me.

'Yes.' No.

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><p><strong>When the time catches up to the present tense it will remain present tense for the rest of the story. Songs for this chapter:<strong>

**M.I.A- Paper Planes**

**Katy Perry- Hot N Cold**

**This Kiss- Alex Day ft Carrie Hope Fletcher**

**Bon Jovi- Always**


	11. Fine, We'll Send You The Polaroids

Barney POV (PRESENT)

'What?' I repeated. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, why was she just standing there like a stupid lemon. And why in the name of God was she wearing her wedding dress!?

'Barney, I need to talk to you about something.' Nora turned to face me properly and was wringing her hands furiously.

'Well, don't be shy.' My words reminded me of the day she came back to tell me she was having my baby. Which now I wasn't so sure was true. I was just getting my head around the idea of actually being a dad. What happens now?

'Um, in private?'

'Don't think any of us have any secrets anymore to be honest,' I looked around at Robin and Kyle and Kyle nodded at me in agreement.

'Yes we do.' Robin piped up, I shot her a look.

'Robin.' I said warningly.

'What's going on?' Nora asked hesitantly, looking between the two of us.

'I'm more interested in what you have to say Nora.' I tried, unsuccessfully apparently, to change the subject.

'What's going on!' She all but screamed in our faces.

Robin looked down at her feet guiltily and I knew she was remembering what happened just one week ago. Was it really only a week ago?

Nora gave us a puzzled look before her eyes widened and she gasped,

'Nora!' Robin began, 'It's not what you think!'

'If you've done this to me _again, _Barney Stinson then so help me-'

'And you're so innocent, Nora huh?' I interrupted her before she could keep yelling, 'Did you know that the baby wasn't mine? What was all this about!'

'I wanted to be with you, I _wanted_ you to be the dad. Please understand, Barney. I love yo-'

'You don't love me! You love the _idea _of me, if you really loved me then you wouldn't be putting me through this.'

'So what happens now?' Robin had apparently dropped the subject of our little...mishap last week.

'Jerry Springer?' Kyle, who else.

'Shut _up _Kyle, God.' Robin was looking more tired than ever over all this, I just felt like holding her until it was all better, if it did get better that is.

I relaxed my shoulders and slumped into the chair next to Nora's. Robin and Kyle went out without another word and I was left with the mess as usual. I looked her right in the eyes and we both had so m any questions on the tips of out tongues that it was hard to choose just one or decide which ones were more relevant to ask first.

'Nora, even though you're a bit ah, _quirky, _I want to apologise.'

'For what? I'm the one that made you think you were going to have a kid then let you down.'

'Yeah, right 'let me down.' ' I air quoted the last words, which rose a chuckle from my damaged, little Nora. ' I want to apologise for cheating on you when we were together last year. And for being such an idiot and being immature when you were going through a bad time. But can we please just admit what you did was pretty stupid aswell?'

'Call it even?'

'Deal.' We fist bumped and sat in a relaxed silence for a few seconds, but I had to ask;

'Are you sure it's not mine?'

'I was lying to myself, I wanted it to be you so badly. It really hit me yesterday before the wedding, I'm sorry I just left you like that. Even though it was slightly unconventional-' I scoffed, 'I shouldn't have just went like that. I literally went to the hotel we were supposed to stay in and lay there awake all night. I don't know what brought me here.'

'Do you know who the dad could be?'

'Yes...and no.'

'What do you mean?' I asked, raising an eyebrow.

'For weeks after we broke up all I did was think about you, I decided I wanted to try to get over you and went to a bar. Went home with some guy, didn't even catch his name.'

'I'm so sorry, Nora.'

'Not technically your fault. So when I found out I was pregnant I wanted so badly for it to be you that I almost believed it myself, and I didn't want you to leave incase you cheated on me again.' I looked at the floor guiltily and all my bad feelings about Nora sorta drifted away at that point, it was hard to hate somebody who was being so honest with you.

She was the victim here, not me. It was a huge weight off my shoulders that I wasn't going to be a dad anymore, but for some reason I was kinda disappointed too.

'I'm gonna help you Nora, to find the real dad of the baby. It's the least I can do I guess.'

'That means a lot Barney, but how's that gonna work?'

'I have a Bar Guy, if your baby-daddy was even semi-regular at that bar, he'll know him or at least have connections. Stick with me, kid.' I shot a smirk her way and she laughed.

'You're awesome, Barney.'

'I know.'

**One Week Ago: Lily POV**

'Ted will you please stop stressing out!'

'Lily this is Barney's wedding, I'm gonna make it perfect.'

'Yeah but it's Nora, she's wacko. Has he talked to you about it yet?'

Ted looked up from all the papers and plans laid out all over my kitchen table and continued on as I winced at all the mess he'd made.

'He hasn't said anything to me that he hasn't said to you, 'I love her, I'm so happy' and all that bull he's been saying.'

'You don't think he ya know, might just actually love her do you? I mean, it's Barney.'

'I get what you mean but...I think there's something else underneath all this. Something big. I wanna know what, but he seriously hasn't been himself lately and I don't wanna pressure him or whatever.'

'Yeah. Probably best to just let this play out and see what happens. Wedding's in a week, nervous about your speech?'

'Well kinda, I'm not that nervous about actually writing it but more having to say it in front of-'

Ted was cut short by three loud bangs at the door, we gave eachother a look.

'Ah, who is it?' I yelled at the door.

Another bang.

Ted got up and went to the door, I grabbed a vase and held it up protectively, ready to attack if the situation came about. (Hey, I've got a baby to protect, you never know!)

Ted threw the door open to Barney curled up in a ball on the floor.

'Barney!' I cried, immediately dropping the vase and rolling him over.

'Gotcha!' He said and swiftly got up, we just looked at him.

'Barney, what the hell was that?!'

'What's wrong with you!' I yelled as I went to pick up the thankfully not broken vase.

'I was bored. So what's up guys?'

'Planning YOUR wedding, where have you been anyway?'

'Here and there,' He went over and settled himself on the couch. 'We should all go out. Let's go.'

'Where's Nora?' Ted asked casually as he went back to his papers on the table.

'She's ah..gone to her mom and dad's house until tomorrow night.'

'And you didn't go?' I asked suspiciously,

'Nope.'

'Have you even met her parents?'

'Nope.'

'You planning to? Like before you marry the girl?' Ted asked,

'Nope.'

'Barney that's crazy!' I scorned him. He was so clueless sometimes.

'Don't care, didn't want to go.'

'Why not?'

'Er, they don't like me.'

'How do you know that? If you haven't met them?'

'God, Lil! What's with the third degree!'

'Well I just mean, you say you love this woman-'

'I do. Swear.'

'-and you can't even be bothered to meet her parents?'

Barney shook his head and changed the subject.

'So we should go to the beach! Everybody loves the beach, you in Teddy?'

'No way in hell.'

'Aw, c'mon man why not!'

'One; I'm busy planning the parts of the wedding that you promised Nora you'd handle. Two; it's like minus a billion degrees outside. And Three; well I don't have a third but you get the idea.'

'Ted, you're so boring! Fine, we'll send you the polaroids. Let's go, Lil.'

'I have a doctor's appointment with Marshall in like a half hour. So ah, no.'

'You guys are so...ugh! Fine, I'm gonna go have fun with my _real _friends!'

'Barney...Do you even have any other friends?'

'Sure...lots and lots.'

'Like who?' I asked, smirking.

'Ah, Steve.'

'Steve?'

'Yeah, Steve.'

'Steve who?'

'Steve...Smith...er...son.'

'How come we've never heard of Steve Smitherson?'

'He's a private person! Gosh, Lily. Respect Steve.'

'Have fun with Steve then, Barney.' Ted asked with a casual wave from the papers on the table.

'I will!' Barney turned on his heels and walked out the door, his tie almost smacking him up the face.

'Wow, he really is bored, isn't he?' Ted asked, still not taking his eyes off the stupid pictures of flowers on the table.

'You're telling me,' I replied, gently rubbing my tummy.

**Barney POV: Ten Minutes Later**

Where to go? Hmmm, what to do?

I couldn't go home and face Nora, she was in proper bridezilla mode at the minute and I didn't want to get in the way of that situation. I didn't tell Ted, Lily or Marshall about the road trip with Robin and Kyle last week, it didn't really seem...fair after all, they hadn't saw her for like a month or two or however long it'd been.

We'd parted on quite a good note but I hadn't saw her or heard from her since it. I missed her so much, you really never know what you've got until it's gone. I hated even thinking the sickly sweet quote, but it was so, so accurate. Seeing her everyday made not being with her kinda bearable, but not having any options with her or not even talking to her was affecting me bad.

This was not the Barney Stinson I knew. I should be out at a bar, fake personality at the ready and scoring with women left, right and centre. And all I could do was keep on walking towards Robin's apartment.

I stopped and almost went back to Lily and Marshall's place at least six times before I accepted the inevitable and just went to her building.

I hesitated again at her door, should I knock? I'd never had to knock before. I knocked. And waited.

I figured I still had time to make a run for it when I heard the footsteps reaching the door, the door opened to Robin.

'Oh, hey Barney.' She said it casually but I noticed she didn't immediately open the door and invite me in, was that a bad sign? Yes.

'Hey, Robs. You busy?'

'Well...No, just watching a movie.'

'Cool, what one?'

She finally moved aside and let me in, she had indeed just paused a movie and there was a half-eaten bowl of pop-corn on the coffee table.

'127 Hours.'

'The one where the guy cuts his arm off? I'm in.'

She closed the door behind me and we stood sort of half-facing eachother at awkward angles. I took a step towards her and she gave a funny look.

'Barney, I don't think that's such a good Ide-'

'Why not?' I took another step closer to her.

'I don't know if I can see you right now.'

She kept her gaze on the ground as I moved closer to her so our feet were nearly touching.

'I miss you, Robin. I miss seeing you everyday.'

'I miss you too, but Nora...'

'Robin, look at me.' She refused so I grabbed her chin and forced her to look into my eyes.

'You can't have us both, Barney.'

'Who said I wanted both of you?'

'Well, I-'

I shut her up with a kiss, which she gave into for a minute before putting her hands on my chest and pushing me away, firmly.

'No, Barney. Leave.'

'You know you love me, Robin.'

'Go.'

'I don't know why you're denying it,'

'If I did, which I don't then I could think of about six hundred reasons why I could deny it.'

That stung a bit, but I didn't let it show.

She looked me right in the eyes and I smirked at her. I leaned in again and just as she squeezed her lips together I raised my head a bit and kissed her forehead.

She groaned and pushed me and I chuckled.

'It's so fun to mess with you.'

'Die.'

'Make me. Wait, don't.'

A small smile crept onto her lips and she pinched the bridge of her nose.

'Barney. Leave now, I'll call the cops I swear!'

'Yeah right, Robs.'

I opened the door and kissed the top of her head as I passed her, she groaned again and I couldn't help laugh.

'Call me!' I shouted over my shoulder as I left the apartment.

'Never!' She called as she slammed the door shut.

I smiled the whole walk home.


	12. Kinda Ironic, Huh?

Robin POV (Present)

I was feeling nervous and...fidgety. This was weird. I paced up and down my living room for the hundredth time waiting for Barney and Nora to finish talking. Ugh!

Kyle and an unhappy-to-be-woken-up Katie were cuddled up on the sofa watching T.V. Ofcourse they would be fine, this wasn't any of their business and didn't affect them. I was glad for that in a way but it also saddened me that I couldn't talk to anybody.

I felt kinda sorry for Nora but at this moment in time I wanted her to take a long walk off a short pier.

'Robin, you're making me dizzy. Just sit down for a sec?'

'No. No, Katie I want to find out what's going on. Let me be, ok?'

'Whatever, Robs.' Katie snuggled into Kyle's chest a bit more,

'Kinda ironic, huh?'

'Do you even know the meaning of that word, Kyle?' I said lazily,

'Well. You were dating Barney. Then Nora was dating Barney, then he cheated on her with you, then he was going to marry Nora. When will the cycle end?' Kyle smirked and looked up at me from behind Katie's hair, I just narrowed my eyes and said,

'That's not ironic, Kyle it's just a coincidence.'

'I'm just saying, I think Barney has a pretty good thing going here.'

'What do you mean?'

'Well, he gets rid of one and the other comes running back as soon as he's bored. He's awesome in guy-terms.'

'Shut up, baby.' Katie cut in, stifling a yawn.

'You don't know what you're talking about, moron.'

'Don't call him that, Robin, it's not nice!'

'Whatever Saint Katie.'

We went back to silence.

Even though Kyle was an idiot, his words kinda hit me like a ton of bricks. Was this Barney's plan all along? Knowing that Nora and I both loved him. Was he playing us? He said he didn't want Nora but how long before another girl came along and he got distracted again?

I began my damn pacing again and was going to accept Katie's invitation when the kitchen door swung open and Nora came out with Barney on her heels.

I made my way over and got a smile from both of them, so I guessed things were better than I expected anyway.

'Everything ok then? What's going on?'

'I'll explain everything to you later, Robin but just know we've made a deal and things are looking up finally.' Barney looked back to Nora and gave her a smile and a nudge that made her giggle. It made me weirdly jealous but I hope I hid it well.

'Well that's good, Nora do you wanna ah, borrow some clothes?'

'Yeah that'd be nice, thanks.'

Barney went and settled himself on the armchair in front of the T.V as I went with Nora down to my room, she followed me in and waited while I dug out dark jeans and a T-shirt I hated that she could borrow.

'Here ya go, you can return them anytime it's no probl-' Nora interrupted me,

'Listen to me Robin Scherbatsky,' She sneered, 'Don't think because it's not his baby that you can automatically have him. He's mine.'

'Nora, I don't want to argue with y-'

'I'm so serious, don't get in my way. You will not like it to have me as an enemy, I may not look too threatening but I could take you any day! ' She poked me hard on the chest but automatically fixed her expression afterwards. 'Now, where should I change into these?' She smiled and it felt as though her little outburst hadn't even occured. Whoa, had I just experienced physco Nora first hand?

Did she think she could throw a tantrum and get what she wanted as usual? Why did everyone listen to her and help her when they were forgetting what she was doing the entire time. She was a spoilt, crazy person and I wasn't taking this crap in my own home. Barney or no Barney, I didn't care when my pride was on the line.

Did she really think I would just sit back and let her walk all over me?

'Robin, I said where should I change into these?'

'I don't gave a damn! In fact, I'm not dealing with your crazy ass like Barney does. Get out of my apartment now, you can have him!' I spat.

She took a step back in shock and dropped the clothes,

'W-what did you say to me?

'Did I stutter?'

'N-no.'

'Then why are you still standing there? Get the hell out!'

She sent one last glare at me before stalking out of my room and banging the door behind her.

I let out a long sigh of relief and fell backwards onto my bed and rested my eyes for a few seconds. Peace, finally. I contemplated taking a nap and forgetting things for at least a little while but ofcourse life isn't that kind.

Tap,tap,tap.

'Go away!' I called to the unknown person disturbing me and rolled over to cover my face with a pillow.

The door creaked open and I peeked out from behind the pillow to see Barney leaning on the doorway watching me with an amused expression.

'What's so funny?'

'What, you think your room is soundproof? Heard everything.'

'Then why aren't you mad at me? Called out little, precious Nora.' I rolled my eyes and sat up in the bed.

'Mad at you? It was the funniest thing I've heard in months, and I had to deal with her crazy ass because she was 'having my baby'-' he air quoted, 'and now I don't have to deal with the crazy stuff anymore. I can leave her side with my own free will.'

He grinned and I couldn't help grin back, it was contagious!

'But,' He began, 'I did promise her I'd help find the baby-daddy. She was just so pathetic earlier and I do feel sorry for her.'

'What! But everything she's done...Barney, are you sure?'

'Yeah, I guess so. I can't just leave her to fend for herself, and this guy out there deserves to know he's going to have a kid.'

'Ok, kinda makes sense I suppose. Count me out though.'

'What do you mean?' Barney closed the door softly and sat in the chair facing me.

'I don't want to have anything to do with that crazy bitch anymore, Barney. I'm done. If she comes here I'm just going to slam that door in her face and I don't want you to ask me to help you with finding th-'

'Hey, hey shh.' He grabbed my hand, 'You don't have to have anything to do with this, It'll be me and Nora and nobody else I promise.' He began to trace small circles onto the back of my hand and Kyle's earlier words flooded my mind;

_**Barney has a pretty good thing going here.**_

I snatched my hand away quickly and stood up, Barney immediately mimicked me.

'What's wrong?' His eyes were full of concern but I just couldn't shake the feeling, stupid Kyle for putting these ideas into my head.

'Nothing...'

'Robin. What's wrong?'

I stared at him for a second before looking back at my feet.

'What? Are my good looks intimidating you or something?' Barney flashed an arrogant smirk and I couldn't help the little chuckle I gave.

I sighed and on impulse went and put my arms around him, he immediately hugged me back wordlessly.

I finally broke the comfortable silence that gathered between us.

'I miss you so much.'

'We've been saying that a lot recently, huh?'

'And not doing anything about it.'

I released him and stepped back.

'Barney can I ask you a question?'

'You just did.'

I rolled my eyes but went on, 'Why didn't you tell Nora about what happened last week?'

'What happened last week, Robin?' He grinned and looked right into my eyes, he knew alright he was just messing with me yet again.

'You know, Barney.'

'You'll have to remind me, Robin.'

'No, stop messing with me.'

'Wow, weird memory loss going on here, maybe if you just said what happened then it'd trigger my memory or something,' He was still smirking when I looked up at him again with narrowed eyes.

'Fine.'

'Go on,'

'You kissed me.'

'So?'

'That wasn't cool!'

'Don't try to say you didn't want me to.'

'I didn't!'

'You're a terrible, little liar Scherbatsky.'

'You are so annoying!'

'You love it.'

'Ugh!' I shrugged off the hand he placed on my shoulder and went into the living room where Kyle was sitting watching a football game.

'Where's Katie?' I asked, looking around.

'Followed Nora, taking the side of the insane apartently.' I scoffed and sat down at the couch with him.

'Where's Barney?' Kyle asked me, I asked myself that same question as I looked towards my room. What was he doing in there?

A few seconds later he emerged from the hallway and threw himself onto the armchair, throwing his legs onto my lap. I shoved them off.

'What were you doing?'

'Stealing your underwear.'

'Dude, that's my girl's sister!'

'Jeez, I'm kidding. Bathroom break.' He winked at me and I got up and went to the kitchen.

I looked at the clock and realised I had to be in work in twenty minutes, what I was wearing would be fine but I checked my hair in the reflection of the microwave before grabbing my bag. I quickly put on a bit of mascara from my bag and was putting on lip balm and about to leave when Barney came through the kitchen door and walked over so he was directly in front of me. Too close.

'Can I have some of that?' He asked, gesturing to the lip balm.

'Yeah, I guess.' I replied, holding the container out to him.

Then without warning he lifted my chin and kissed me.

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><p><strong>Hey if you've been reading my story please leave me a review, it would mean so much. Hope you liked the chapter!<strong>


	13. Gotcha

Barney POV

I felt Robin push me away and send me a glare.

'I thought we agreed you wouldn't do that anymore.'

'Don't remember agreeing to that, my dear.'

'Yeah well remember this; don't do that anymore!'

'Give me one good reason why.'

'Because, it's not right!'

'Why not!'

She paused and her expression turned blank, it annoyed me and I wished I knew what she was thinking. I stepped forwards again and moved a strand of hair from her face.

'I'm late for work, Barney.'

'I thought you could stay and stop me from being bored.'

'How?'

'I'm sure I'll think of something,' I smirked at her and knew she just wanted to hit me right now. I loved to mess with her.

'Are you trying to get me fired?'

'It would make things more convenient for me.'

'Move, Barney.'

'What if I said no?'

'Stop joking around, I'm gonna be late!'

'I'll call them and explain everything.'

'What do you mean?'

'That you were obviously late because you couldn't bear to part with me and my awesome-ness.'

She looked at me skeptically and I couldn't help laugh out loud at the expression on her face.

'Goodbye, Barney.'

As she squeezed past me and began to make her way towards the door I linked my finger around one of her belt loops and pulled her back.

'Gotcha.'

'You are so irritating.'

'So.'

'You may be the most irritating person on the planet,' And then Kyle walked into the room, 'Well second most irritating.' She added.

'Aren't you supposed to be at work at like one o'clock Robin?' Kyle breezed as he went to get coffee.

'If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to get rid of me Kyle.' Robin teased him.

'And if I didn't know any better Robin, I'd say it was like ten-to one.'

'Seriously!' She grabbed her bag and made her way to the kitchen door,

'Seeya, gorgeous!' I called and she shot us the finger before she disappeared.

Kyle and I stood in silence for a few seconds before we both went to speak at the same time.

I let out a low chuckle, 'Go on, Kyle.'

'Where do you think Katie and Nora went?'

'No idea, don't really care to be honest, man.'

'Can I ask you something else?'

'Shoot.'

'How the hell do you get two women to fall in love with you?'

'You really think Robin's in love with me?'

'What you don't? You say it enough!'

'That's just kidding around, dude.'

'Do you love her?'

'Kyle, has anyone ever told you that you're too forward?'

'No,'

'Shocking.'

I finished the coffee I made and figured I might as well go home and change already, I'd borrowed one of Kyle's shirts before I got to talking to Nora seriously about our little deal but I didn't feel comfortable without my signature suit.

I gave Kyle a 'see ya' and a wave before leaving Robin's place.

I was still trying to get my head around the fact that I wasn't going to be a dad anymore, I'd built myself up so much and I felt like maybe I was actually prepared to have a little Barney running around.

But I shoved those unfamiliar feelings to the back of my mind as I practically skipped home to my apartment where I was finally free.

Ted POV

I unlocked the door to my apartment balancing a bag of groceries on one arm. I didn't think Lily and Marshall were home right now so I thought maybe I'd work on my new project for a little while.

I got into the apartment and dropped the bag onto the floor to see Rebecca sitting on the couch.

'Rebecca,' I smiled, how'd you get in?'

She stood up looking worried and wringing her hands.

'The ah, key you gave me.'

'Oh yeah, almost forgot about that.'

I went over to hug her but she barely moved and still looked a bit strange.

'Ted...'

'What's wrong...? Did something happen?'

'Ted please just, sit down for a minute.'

I did not like where this was going, not one little bit. At least if she was going to break up with me she'd probably do it nicely, I'd lost count of how many girls had dumped me over text message or got one of their friends to do it in my teenage years, I couldn't decide if this way was better or worse.

'There's something I haven't told you about me, and I don't want you to freak out or immediately like leave, so can you promise to just listen to me first of all then decide what you want to do?'

'So you're not breaking up with me?'

A hurt expression dented her features.

'What? Ofcourse not, Ted!'

'Well what are you talking abou-'

'Just promise me Ted. Please.'

'Ok, I promise I guess.'

She was pacing back and forth across the living room as I sat on the couch, she wasn't even making eye contact or anything.

'Ok, ah if I just blurt it out it'll sound so bad and I know that you'll freak the hell out and hate me but you need to understand that right now at this moment I really, really, really like you so I have to be completely honest because ofcourse relationships can't start with a bunch of lies and-'

'Hey, hey calm down.' I got up and held her face in my hands, 'Just say what you need to say, Rebecca. Get to the point.' I let out a low laugh but her face stayed solemn.

'Ted I'm married.'

The smile dropped off my face instantly and my hands fell to my sides in a instant. She was supposed to be The One. I just stared at her and a tear rolled down her cheek.

'What...how? Why didn't you tell me!'

I tried to not be angry but I was so disappointed I couldn't even look at her.

'Ted you promised!'

'To hell with what I promised! You're married! Married!'

'We've been separated for months. He cheated on me, that was the final straw. I didn't plan on getting together with anyone so soon!'

'You slept with Barney!'

'That was a stupid, stupid impulse decision Ted but I don't regret it one bit, because it meant I got to meet you.'

I didn't say anything for several seconds, just looked and looked at her.

'Why didn't you tell me right away?'

'I didn't know you would be such a big impact on my life, so soon.'

'Oh well sorry for being such an inconvenience to you, Rebecca!'

'I'm so sorry, Ted I should have told you.'

'Yes, you really should have.'

I sat down on the couch again and put my face into my hands.

'I was going to tell you weeks ago but you were so busy with Barney's wedding I didn't want to distract you.'

'You cannot be serious, Rebecca. You think this is better? Finding out now?'

'Yeah well I didn't know Nora was gonna leave!'

She sat down next to me and tried to pry my hands from my face,

'Ted.'

I didn't say anything.

'Ted, please. I want to be with you, our divorce should be finalised any day now.'

I reluctantly took my hands away and looked into her eyes. 'You want to be with me? It's over with him, right?'

'Yes, one hundred percent. I promise.'

'Then I guess...it's fine.'

A huge smile lit up her face and she leaned in to give me a kiss.

'There's just maybe one more teensy-tiny little thing I haven't mentioned.'

Oh God, there was more to this nightmare?

'What is it?'

'My step-daughter Layla has been visiting me in my new apartment every week since I moved out, but he found out I had a new boyfriend and won't let her come over anymore.'

I tried not to grin at the fact that she called me her boyfriend and thought about this.

'Then I guess we're both just going to have to have a talk with this guy,'

'Is that such a good idea?'

'Never know if we don't try, right? What's he like anyway?'

'Arrogant douchebag. I can't remember a time I was actually happy with him to be perfectly honest.'

I kinda realised how lucky I was just then, if this guy was as bad as she says he is then I'm probably a Godsend in comparison.

'What's he do?' I pictured him being some selfish lawyer or accountant so I was genuinely surprised when Rebecca said;

'He's a doctor actually, pretty successful.'

'Well, set up a meeting. I wanna talk to this guy face-to-face.'


	14. Vodka And Sweat

**A/N: Just a reminder to say that from now on the story is in the 'Present' time. Please leave me a review, don't be shy! I like to know when people are reading my stories and would like to know if you like the story so far! I had a bad case of writers block there but yay its cured! Lots planned for the next few chapters! Ali xx**

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><p><strong>Lily POV<strong>

Marshall and I were on our way to what I hoped was our last doctor's appointment. I didn't just hope it was our last because I just wanted the baby to hurry up and be born already, but because our doctor was such a complete asshole.

Before we got into the cab Marshall had said something that annoyed me and I cried for the ninth time today but it was so stupid that I couldn't even remember what it was. Yet here I was alone in the back seat while Marshall chatted away with the cab driver. He was used to my random outburts by now, I'd been kind of emtional these last few months of the pregnancy.

I didn't like that Marshall was ignoring me so I threw the lid from my bottle of soda at him.

He swivelled around and looked at me,

'Ow, Lil. Why'd you do that?'

'Don't know what you're talking about.'

'Whatever Lilypad.' He flashed me his Marshall smile.

I was in better spirits as we pulled up to the doctors office, I was sort of dreading this meeting with the doctor though. This was just sort of a last minute ultrasound scan to make sure everything was ok.

We walked hand in hand considerably slow as I waddled into the building. The office had a distinct smell of chemicals and old people and it had one of those silences that was only ever broken by a cough or a cell phone ringing.

Marshall and I had played a whispered game of I-Spy while we waited, which got old pretty fast. I was trying to figure out the letter 'W' that I knew for a fact wasn't window because I guessed that four times already, when a nurse finally emerged from that mysterious Nurse Room and called 'Erikson!' then she ducked back into the room.

We made our way to our doctors room and knocked the door. No answer. We knocked again.

I could actually hear him moving around in the room, he even sneezed. He was actually ignoring us, the nerve!

'Dr. Jude...More like Dr. Rude.' I said in an undertone.

Marshall rolled his eyes at my lame joke, 'Good one, Lil.'

'I thought so.'

I was getting frustrated after the third time we knocked, any other doctor we could just assume he was pretty busy and just wait a bit longer, but not this doctor. He was definitely just ignoring us.

After another few minutes of knocking and calling his name and informing him that we had lives too, he swung the door open and regarded us with a groan that he didn't even try to hide.

'Nice to see you too, Doctor.' Marshall commented as he moved aside to let us in. Man, he was a tool.

We sat on the chairs facing his desk as he made his way over to the computer. His office smelled like vodka and sweat.

'So why are you guys here today?'

'The last scan.' I asnwered cooly,

'Ok, and you know your due date is eight days from now? So you may want to get things prepared at home and we'll prepare things here. We done here?'

'Yes, thankfully,' I said with a sigh, trying to get out of this damn chair.

'I have a question actually, Dr. Jude.' Marshall asked quickly, unsmiling.

'Yes, Michael?'

'I'ts Marshall actually, whatever. What happens if you're not there on the day of the birth? Or if you're, ah late?'

'I guarantee, Michael-'

'-Marshall.'

'-That I will be here.'

'How can we be sure, though?'

'Listen. My wife just left me so I have quite a lot of free time. But you didn't need to know that, now leave please. I'll be there.' He sneered coldly.

He got a Rubix cube out from one of his drawers and threw his legs up onto the desk.

'What room is the scan in?' I asked,

He groaned and began to sort through the pile of messy papers on his desk noisily looking for our paperwork.

'Room 407, three floors up from here, and-' He looked right at me and smirked evilly, '-the elevator is broken, you'll have to take the stairs.' He then threw the papers from his desk and flicked on a little T.V in the corner of the room facing his desk.

**Barney POV**

I guess Nora wasn't as bad company when she wasn't desperately trying to monitor my every move, our little 'relationship' we had when I thought the baby was mine was completely over. Thank God, Buddah, Baby Jesus and whoever else is out there.

This was the night we'd agreed to meet at the bar to try and track down the real dad of her baby, I'd like to think that once this is all over we can just part ways as unlikely friends and forget the whole thing but unfortunately I doubt that's her style.

The constant phonecalls and emails last night to all the guests from the wedding had been strangely entertaining for me. They were all along the lines of 'What happened? We're so worried! What's wrong!' and my answer to each person had been basically the same 'Nora's knocked up so we were getting married because we thought it was unholy and trampy not to. Well, turns out the baby isn't mine after all and she walked out on _me _due to a guilty conscience. Anyway now I'm helping her to find the real baby daddy.'

She'd probably kill me when she found out all virtually all my family knew what went down. The only person that didn't sound worried or awkwardly hang up was my mom, she was practically crying with happiness when I told her. She's always, always preferred Robin and believe me when I say I'm trying to keep her happy.

Suit-ed up and ready to go, I drove my newly fixed car to a parking lot a few blocks away from the bar Nora met daddy at. It was totally hipster-central when I got there, even the name of the place was 'The Triangle'. I made my way over to the bar and smiled at a few people on my way there, this is where Nora and I decided to meet.

I ordered a drink for me and Nora (Orange juice for her ofcourse) while I sat at the barstool looking around at all the inhabitants. There was a group of severely out-of-place young guys wearing sports jerseys and sneakers looking around uncomfortably, a small group of Johnny Depp look-a-likes complete with hats and mustaches, a few random lone girls dancing dramatically to the music without any shoes on and then there was what I'll call the Normals; guys and women like me who were simply having a drink and ignoring the hateful stares from the hipsters.

A guy in maybe his early thirties with dark hair sat down on the stool next to me and gave me a nod, nodded back.

'Haven't saw you around here before, passing through?'

'Meeting someone,'

'Didn't seem like your kind of place.' He smiled and I chuckled, 'Mason.'

He reached out to shake my hand,

'Barney.'

'What you drinking, Barney?'

'Daniels,'

'Sounds good,' Mason said casually and motioned for the Bartender to get him one too.

'You come here often, man?'

'On occasion, too ah, alternative...? For me, anyway. Women like it though, where they go we follow, know what I'm sayin' buddy?'

'I hear ya,' We clinked our glasses together and he downed it in one.

'Well it's been nice meeting you but I gotta head on, maybe see ya here again man, take care.' He patted my shoulder and I raised my glass at him as he left. Wow, somebody truly, truly normal in this freakshow.

Nora was pretty freakin'-fashionably late ten minutes later and I was honestly planning on ditching her and heading on home, maybe with the bare-foot red head managing to dance slowly to some sort of upbeat dance song.

'I'm here! I'm here!' Nora squealed as she hurtled herself across the dancefloor clutching her stomach.

'Finally,'

'Oh hush I'm not that late.'

'Whatevs, now let's get right into this. What did he look like for starts?'

'Ah, blonde hair, freakishly tall and brown eyes I think.'

'You think?'

'Hey, I didn't spend that much time with the guy!'

'Enough time to create a child,' I smirked and she hit me up the arm. 'Ok, ok. Sorry. Have a look around, is he here?'

She looked around for a bit before looking kinda down-hearted and resting her head down on the top of the bar.

'Take that as a no?'

She kinda nodded awkwardly with her head still pressed onto the bar.

'What was his name?'

'He just said to call him Doc, and he had like a personal driver that brought us to his apartment then brought me right back to my apartment so I don't even know where he lives.'

'Fancy guy, well at least we know a little bit about him. Hows about we both go around and ask a few people and see what we can find out? And hey Nora,'

'Yeah, Barney?'

'Don't worry if we don't get him tonight, we will eventually.' I smiled and she gave me a kinda sad smile back.

I kinda got carried away dancing with the red-head after asking people for fifteen minutes the same questions and getting nowhere when Nora suddenly appeared in the form of a tap on my shoulder.

I gave red-head a quick kiss on the cheek and excused myself as Nora and I squeezed ourselves into a newly empty booth.

'What did you find out then? You seemed kinda distracted. ' Nora rolled her eyes and I laughed out loud,

'Well the people I did ask were either too stuck up to wanna talk to me or too drunk and out of it to speak properly. One guy actually thought I was his brother and made me have a phone conversation with his mom about his priorities for about five minutes.'

'Useless information, Barney!

'Well what did you find!'

'Just one guy who seemed to recognise his description, we actually were on the same page for a while but then he turned around and said his name was Jason or something so obviosly not him.'

'Have you ever maybe considered that maybe he used a fake name?'

'Why would he do that?'

I sighed and massaged my temples to ease away the headache caused by the strange, repetitve music that I swear was getting louder by the second.

'Because men lie. What was his reason to get you out before morning?'

'He had to be in work early, Barney.'

'Aha, yeah. He's an asshole.'

'What makes you think that?'

'Because he has the same game as me. I suppose he told you your shoes were nice?'

'Yes, he did for a matter of fact.' She replied cooly.

'Uh-huh. Yeah, same game as me.'

'And what's your game then, Barney?'

'Tell you what you wanna hear then get rid of you as soon as possible when I've got what I want.'

'You're disgusting-'

'-Aaand unfortunately for you so is he. I'm sorry Nora, I just know the type.'

'Well I think you're wrong.'

'Do you,' I sat back and studied her for a second, it was so obvious she thought the same thing as me and was just being defensive because she didn't want to admit that I was right, but I'd give her this one, just once. She needed a reality check, the nice guys don't pick you up then drop you and never call again.

I had never quite got out of my bad habits until Robin came along. I didn't realise how truly lucky I was to have her, she was the only girl I really honestly wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with. She was perfect yet so imperfect all at the same time and that's exactly why I was so intrigued by her all the time. Wasn't quite murder on the eyes either.

'Are you even listening to me, Barney!' Nora had been talking the whole time there but I was so lost in thought that it was really just a buzz in the background.

'Honestly, no.'

'Ugh!' Nora went to get up and leave but I grabbed her arm,

''Least let me give you a ride home? Saves you getting a cab.'

'Fine, let's go.'

The car journey home was silent and she didn't even crack a smile or get annoyed when I put a Justin Bieber song up to top volume and began to sing along with my own made-up lyrics.

When we got to her place all I got was a cold 'bye' and the car door nearly burst my eardrums when she slammed it shut.

I don't know why I didn't just drive home then, I just wanted to go see Ted all of a sudden. Maybe I didn't want to be alone in the apartment I was so glad to have all to myself again.


	15. A Giant Moldy Peach

**Robin POV**

'Katie just pick a damn dress, what's the big deal?'

'The big _deal, _Robin is that when dad comes to visit I have to look acceptable and lady-like.'

'I don't think what you're wearing is going to convince dad that you're responsible, you have to convince him yourself.'

'Whatever, can you get this in the next size up for me?'

I was sitting outside a changing room in _Macy's_ handing dresses back and forth to Katie, who was seriously getting on my nerves. We'd been at this for hours, going to countless different stores and I swore there'd be trouble if we didn't walk outta this store with a dress.

'Ok Robin I'm gonna get this one!'

She emerged from the changing rooms wearing a light orange-pink dress, floaty and knee-length.

'What do you think?' She did a little twirl and truth be told she kinda looked like a giant moldy peach but my feet were hurting and if she liked it then it was good enough for me.

'Wow! You look amazing!'

Her brow furrowed and she looked at me skeptically,

'You're lying.'

'Am not! It's so pretty, now go buy it.'

'Robin, you always do that weird eyebrow thing when you lie, you can't help it. Now hand me that blue dress.'

I groaned and handed her the stupid dress and flopped myself back down into the little chair outside the changing cubicle. Yes, our dad was coming to visit. He'd called me and really was _not_ happy about the situation. Katie hadn't told him, only my mom knew about Katie being pregnant before she left so when he found out to say he was mad would be an _understatement._

Well anyway we were all going to dinner to try to figure out some sort of agreement, I was kinda disappointed in Katie for not telling him right away but what's been done is done the only thing we can do now is try to come to terms with what's going on.

Despite everything and Kyle, having Katie live with me was nice. She cleaned up after herself and didn't mind me borrowing her clothes (Which I didn't do too often, I only liked looking like a slutty cartoon character on rare occasions.) and talking to her over a cup of coffee at night was good. It was times like this when she was being totally bratty and picky that I remember why I left home in the first place.

My cell rang a few minutes later, it was Ted.

'Katie I'll just be outside, be right back.'

'Thanks for that valuable information Robin, but I have more important things to deal with!' She groaned and I quickly escaped to answer the phone just in time.

'Hey Ted,'

'Hello Robin.'

I was surprised not to hear Ted's voice on the other end of the line, but Barney's.

'Barney, why did you call me from Ted's phone?'

'I like to keep you on your toes, so what's up?'

'Dress shopping with Katie.'

'Boring. Why do you women need so many dresses?'

'I'm not getting one, Katie is. And for your information we're going to dinner with my dad tomorrow night so she actually needs one this time.'

'You're dad's visiting? How is he about the whole thing?'

'Fuming. So we're trying to calm him down and make him see why my irresponsible sixteen year old sister and her loser boyfriend will be great parents.'

'Well good luck with that, you'll need it. So ah, what time are you going to dinner at?'

'Seven...Why?'

'No reason, good choice of ah, dinner time.'

'Well, thanks I guess?'

'Listen I gotta go, Ted's found me using his phone and isn't happy. Catch ya later, Robs.'

He hung up and my 'Bye' went unheard as I went back into the store to see if Katie had gotten the dress yet.

On the way home on the bus, Katie showed me the black dress she'd decided on that I swear was the exact same as the one she'd tried on in the very first store we'd went into.

I resisted the urge to yell at her though and instead closed my eyes and rested my head against the bus seat, trying to drown out Katie's constant yabbering about how she would wear her hair up tomorrow night because it made her look more sophisticated. Oh wait no she couldn't wear her hair up because then dad would see her tattoo of her ex-boyfriend Johnny's initials. Or maybe she could go edgy and mix red and black. But red made her look pale and blotchy.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and just wanted to get home so I could go to bed. Lily was going to give birth in just a week so they were completely gone most of the time now getting things ready with the baby and stuff. Katie and I had some serious shopping to do for her baby in a few weeks aswell. There was so many people pregnant these days, it was getting out of hand.

Lily was about to give birth, Nora was just a few months off it and Katie was due in like five months.

We got home around six, to find Kyle sprawled out on the couch surrounded by junk food and the place a complete mess, the curtains were closed and all the cushions were scattered all over the room.

'Kyle! What the hell did you do!'

'...What?' Kyle sat up and began to rub his eyes tiredly.

'Oh I'm sorry, are you all tired out from wrecking my apartment?'

'Robin I'm sure he was going to clea-'

'You bet your ass he's going to clean it, now get up!'

'Jeez Robin, chill out.'

'No I won't, this is the third time this week I've come home to this and I've had to clean it every time!'

'Ok, ok. I'll clean it alright? No need to freak out so much.'

'Ugh, Kyle! Our dad's coming tomorrow the place has to be perfect, don't you get that!'

'Robin, calm down we'll clean up.' Katie came over and placed a comforting arm on my shoulder.

'Why should you do it Katie, Kyle made the mess and-' I stopped as Kyle got up and stretched, 'Hold up a sec, aren't you supposed to be at work, Kyle?'

Kyles eyes suddenly widened and he started to run to the bedroom. 'Dammit!' He yelled as he grabbed his shoes.

'See, now he can't clean up because he has work. I want him outta here Katie. Soon.'

'Robin how can you say that!'

'With ease!'

My phone started to ring suddenly, it was work.

'I gotta take this, clean this up.'

'But Robin!'

I gave her a stern look and went into my room. It was my boss Margery on the phone and apparently Caroline had a bad case of herpes so I had to cover for her tonight. Life really picks a day to pile it all on doesn't it?

I grabbed something to wear into work and went back to the now half-cleaned living room, courtesy of Katie.

'Kyle gone to work?'

She just nodded and looked kinda sad.

'Hey, are you alright?'

'Fine.'

'What happened?'

'Just something Kyle said, no big deal.'

'Katie what did he say?'

She sighed and settled herself onto the couch,

'Well, he was grumbling and groaning about going to work and I said 'Well at least baby Kyle will have nice things,' Ya know because he's out earning money and he said 'Why don't you go out and work then,' and I said I can't I'm pregnant and...and..' Katie began to cry silently and I put an arm around her.

'Go on, what did he say?'

'He said 'Well, sometimes I wish you weren't'.' I sighed heavily,

'Katie he's a loser, but at least you got him. He's in the same boat as you and you gotta work together on this. It's not going to be all amazing and happy families all the time.'

'Yeah, I guess so. Thanks Robin.'

'No problem sis,' I gave her a little hug until she stopped crying, 'Now I have to go to work, will you be alright? No more tears?'

'Promise.'

We both laughed weakly and held out our pinkies in a pinky swear.

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><p>I was running up to the front steps to the studio's where I worked as a news presenter, adjusting my shoes and trying not to drop my bag.<p>

Thanks to my little heart-to-heart with sister dearest, I was very, very late and they were not going to be happy. At all.

Thank God for the hair and makeup section which I hoped I had time for, I seriously needed it.

When I got in I received the earful I was expecting and said all the right excuses just to get by.

I was in and out of makeup in ten minutes and still had about twenty minutes before the News at Seven-Thirty so I decided to go grab a cup of coffee. The little cafeteria was full at this time, cast and crew mostly and a few guests of staff. I grabbed my coffee and saw my friend Alison sitting at one of the tables so I quickly went to sit next to her.

'Hey, girl.' Alison breezed as I sat down, 'What's up?'

'Well, Same old and I was late today. Again.'

We both laughed,

'So what's new?' I asked as I stirred my coffee and added about six sugars (Kyle snores so damn loud I can hear it in the next room, I was tired. Sue me.)

'New guy working with Caroline, well I guess you tonight..' She gave me a smirk and a wink.

'What's his story?' I asked casually, leaning back in my chair.

'Well..His name's Josh and _trust _me he's hot. And he's single, you should go for it.'

'You thought the weird Mail guy with the dirty beard and the limp was hot so I don't trust your judgement. And absolutely no way in hell!'

'Why not!'

'Because I...Look it's complicated alright?'

'You'll change your mind when you see him.'

'I won't.'

'You will.'

'Won't.'

'Will.'

'Won't.'

'Look!' She whispered quite loudly and subtly pointed somewhere behind me, 'That's him!'

I swivelled round and guess what? I changed my mind.

**Barney POV**

Ted and I were sitting on his couch absently watching T.V and having a few beers. I still hadn't left since crashing on his couch last night, I didn't really know what it was, I just didn't want to be alone.

'So what are you going to do?' I asked Ted, following up our conversation about Rebecca being married. It came as a bit of a shock, usually I have a weird radar for the married ones, I don't wanna get beaten up or yelled at by an angry husband. But I guess it didn't count with Rebecca because they were separated, so I'm still awesome.

'We're both just going to go talk to him and explain everything, it's all we can do really. But apparently he's such an asshole it's like not even funny.'

'You can handle him, Teddy-boy. I have faith in you.'

'Thanks man, hey you want another beer?'

'Yeah go for it,'

I didn't wanna burst Ted's bubble or whatever but the beer he was basically force feeding me tasted like backwashed mouth wash and vinegar and while he was in the kitchen I'd been pouring it into the plant. Poor plant.

I hadn't really been watching the T.V but something caught my eye when I looked up. Robin was presenting the News so I turned the volume up. She didn't normally go to work on a Tuesday night did she?

I couldn't help but stare and stare, I'd spoken to her earlier and saw her a few days ago but I missed her. I'd been missing her a lot lately, this wasn't good. Robin and I were good as friends and we were both fine with that. Maybe. I just don't know anymore!

There was a new guy on there aswell, you'd have to be watching sorta carefully to notice it but I could see him looking at her out of the corner of his eye and staring in the way that I was staring at her only moments ago. And when he made a lame joke that 'The new movie Revenge of the Vampires has been a massive flop. Critics all say it _SUCKS_.' she giggled. Robin giggling?

Ok...I was feeling funny. Watching them made me get butterflies and made me kinda angry? Was I jealous? No, ofcourse not. Robin and I were simply just friends.

Then why was I feeling jealous? Because I definitely was.

But then again if I wanted to be with her, what's stopping me from trying now? Nora and I definitely weren't together anymore and I thought I wanted to be with Robin. But wouldn't I just hurt her? I wasn't cut out for relationships.

I _**should**_ just forget my feelings about her and just let her do her own thing and I'd be fine on my own.

Too bad I'm a selfish asshole.

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><p><strong>AN: Just a reminder to Review! And can I just mention that I started to write this story before Lily and Marshall's baby was born so it won't be like the canon at all. REVIEW PLEASE AND I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER! **

**Quick shout-out to 'wait for it -bazinga' for reviewing twice and to Capricorn98 who has just put up a Vampire Diaries fic which you should go check out. Bye for now, Ali xx**


	16. Wind Swept And Interesting

**Hello! Sorry the last chapter was such a filler but I hope you like this one a bit more! Review please, it only takes a second and I accept Anonymous reviews so why not! Ali x **

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><p><strong>Ted POV<strong>

'Does Robin usually work on a Tuesday night?'

'No, but she must've got called in.'

I walked back into the room with the beers but Barney ended up changing the channel. He looked so down all of a sudden, he was just fine a minute ago,

'Hey, what's wrong man?'

'I...Don't know really. Sorry I'm being such a downer, Ted maybe I should go.'

'Do you wanna talk about it?'

'No, no. I'm fine. Seriously.'

'You know it's ok to _not_ be fine all the time, I'm here for you, Barn, anytime you know that.'

'Yeah I know that Ted, thanks anyway. Catch ya later, though?'

'Sure, See ya.'

When Barney left I decided to get an early night. I still didn't know how I felt about Rebecca being still sorta married to this doctor guy, it was a lot ot take in after all. She was supposed to be the one I end up with, I knew we'd only been seeing eachother for a few months but it felt like the real thing. I could be myself with her, and I didn't want to do what I did with Robin and say that I loved her too soon. I wasn't _that_ crazy.

And as for her stepdaughter, did I really want to be the cause of her not seeing her? I was feeling so weird, I know I wanted to be with her but was I really worthy of her? She was so amazing and sometimes it felt as though I liked her more than she liked me.

Every night I had a hot chocolate and I didn't like my stupid little ritual to be messed with so right on que I made my drink and went to bed. I was even more tired than I thought and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Then I was woken up a little bit later.

I could hear noises coming from the kitchen and felt uneasy, I couldn't handle a burgular! I would totally get beaten up, I haven't worked out in like a year. Oh God, what if Rebecca and I live together one day and a burgular comes into our house? How am I supposed to protect her! I'd have to start working out again soon.

I grabbed the first thing I saw, bottle of deodourant, and crept out of my room into the living room.

The room was basically pitch black save the light streaming in from outside on the street. I could smell...pancakes? Very faintly.

There was a shuffling sound from the kitchen and I moved over slowly before kicking open the door and spraying the deodourant randomly all over the place.

'Ted!' The voice made me stop and I opened my eyes to see a very surprised looking Lily standing with a frying pan.

'Lily!'

'What the hell, Ted! I'll need to make more pancakes now, you've ruined them!'

'I thought you were a burgular!'

'And you thought _what _exactly, that you were going to deodourise them to death?!'

Then I burst out laughing and she joined in after a few seconds,

'Aw Lil, ' I went over and gave her a bear hug, maneuovering around the baby bump.

'You're such an idiot, man.'

'Whatevs, so why are you up at three am making pancakes? I'm not complaining but I mean it's not like you.'

'Can't sleep?'

'Yeah right.'

'Okay! I'm worried about the baby to be honest.'

'What have you got to worry about? You're gonna be a great mom.'

We sat at the table and ate at the pancakes Lily made, they were so awesome. Chocolate and she even had syrup.

'It's just going to be...hard. We've all had this little routine for years, what's it going to be like when theres such a change? We're going to change, we'll be parents. It was hard enough when Barney almost married Nora, now this.'

'Lil, trust me it's going to work out so perfect. Hey, I bet you five dollars things will work out great?'

'It's a deal,' Lily giggled, 'And hey, do you know anything about the whole Barney and Nora thing?'

'I don't really know to be honest, my guess is that she couldn't put him through a fake marriage for a greencard but it's hard to tell at the minute. They're talking and stuff, guess we gotta just wait and see.'

'Yeah, I suppose you're right. How's Rebecca?' Lily smirked,

'Ah, actually there's something I gotta tell you about her...'

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><p><strong>The Next Day<strong>

Ever since I'd started to date Rebecca, her and Lily had got on pretty well together. They went shopping and had girlie nights when I had to work, but when I told Lily about her being married to the doctor guy, she immediately freaked out.

She called Rebecca every swear word she knew and got herself into a bit of a state, it took me like ten minutes to reason with her, I'd told her mine and Rebecca's plan to go and talk to this guy and make him see that I'm a good guy and that Rebecca has moved on.

But she still wasn't convinced.

This was just another problem in my list of problems, which I intended to shorten as soon as I possily could. Starting with this whole Rebecca and her ex husband situation.

I was running around the apartment trying to get ready as fast as I could, but I was getting distracted. Rebecca would be here in like ten minutes and I was still half-naked and un-showered.

I was doing my Darth Vadar impression in the mirror in the bathroom when I heard Rebecca calling me from the living room seeing if I was ready to go. I wasn't. Damn.

I ran at super speed from the bathroom to my room, trying to not let Rebecca see me, so she wouldn't know I wasn't even a little bit ready to go, but by the groan I'm guessing she saw me. I'd have to work on my ninja skills more.

'Ted! Goddammit, I saw you! Hurry up and get ready!'

'I'm just grabbing my jacket!'

I was swearing under my breath I struggled into a pair of jeans and mis-matched socks. I felt around the closet for a sweater and was out in the living room in two minutes looking fairly wind-swept and interesting.

She gave me _that_ look.

'What? I'm ready!'

She gave me a dirty look but softened when I went and put my arms around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder . I felt her relax.

'Let's just get this over with, ok?'

''Kay, baby.' She swivelled around to kiss me and off we went out the door holding hands.

Rebecca owned her own car and the ride over was comfortably silent.

We figured the only way we would get her ex to talk to us was to actually make an appointment in his office, we ofcourse had to use fake names and pretend Rebecca was pregnant but you win some, you lose some. I didn't know how this was going to go, he wouldn't let Rebecca see Layla because he was aparently taking it bad that Rebecca was seeing somebody else so soon,I just hoped that we could make him see sense. And to do that we had to make me come across as a completely sane, nice, gentleman who was mature and could deal with kids.

Basically, we were screwed.

I was nervous as we went up the marble steps into the doctors office, oh way to show off your money. The woman at the reception desk had lipstick all over her teeth and a fussy, frilly collar. She gave us a look from under her glasses that kinda said 'What the hell do you assholes want?' and sighed.

'Hi appointment for Mr. and Mrs. Smith?'

I chose our fake names because it made me feel strangely bad ass to be Mr. and Mrs. Smith for a minute at least.

'You're late.' The receptionist said cooly and said nothing else as she went back to tapping away at her computer with stupid talons that were obviously supposed to be nails although I couldn't see the resembelence.

'Ah, yeah. Sorry about that. Can we still go in?' Rebecca asked politely but I could see her balling her fists at her side in frustration.

'You're just going to have to wait, you aren't royalty you know.' She woman smirked at her own stupid comment and didn't even look away from the computer screen.

We looked around at the completely empty waiting room and back at her.

'Um, the rooms empty.'

'Are you _harassing_ me, Sir?'

'No, I just mean we're a few minutes late and there's nobody here. Can we go in, please?'

'How do you know there isn't somebody else seeing the doctor?'

'Is there?'

'Well, no.'

'So we can go in?' Rebecca asked hotly, she seriously was not the type of person to take this crap from anybody and the woman gave her the evillest of evil glares before nodding and gesturing her head in the direction of the office.

I was suddenly really, _really _nervous about this. I felt like I needed to impress this guy but at the same time, why should I? He should just grow the hell up and realise that people move on and that's life. But I couldn't show that in front of Rebecca, she was important to me and I didn't want to lose her, so for now she would be kept happy no matter what I thought.

I knocked at the door but Rebecca just went straight to the door handle,

'He never, _ever_ answers the door right away. Lazy freakin' idiot.'

She went right on in and I follwed her kinda uneasily.

He was sitting at his desk watching a small T.V in the corner eating a salad. Douchebag.

He looked to us as the door shut behind us and a smirk slowly crawled onto his face as we sat in the chairs facing him.

'Ah, Rebecca. Should have known you couldn't keep away. Who's this, your entourage?'

'No,' She rolled her eyes, 'It's my _boyfriend, _Ted. We're here to talk about Layla. I see you dyed your hair.'

'Yeah the blonde really wasn't working for me, I prefer dark hair.' He looked right at me, 'And apparently so do you.'

'Look, man. We just want to talk about Layla-'

'I don't want to hear it, _man._' He interrupted me, 'Now, please leave I'm watching my programmes.'

'Not a chance, we're fixing this right here, right now.' Rebecca cut in,

'Look, she's my daughter not yours, you can't make me let you see her.'

'That's why I'm asking,'

'Well I'm saying no.'

'Please, Mason. I love her, and she wants to see me!'

'And she's told you this?'

'Yes.'

'I don't want my daughter around strange men,'

He got up and turned off the T.V, I couldn't help notice how _tall_ he was.

'Who you callin' strange, buddy?' Insult me? No chance in hell.

'Look, you'd understand if you had a daughter. I don't know you is all.'

'Trust me, he's a gentleman and he's great with kids.'

'I'm still not sure.'

'Ok, let her stay with _me, _just me, while you go to your stupid bar-'

'-It's not stupid, it's alternative.'

'Whatever. Go meet up with that stupid _hussy _you cheated on me with-

'She wasn't a hussy, she was perfectly classy and nice.' Man this guy _was _a complete asshole. It's bad enough he cheated on her but he had to rub it in aswell?

'Do you even _hear _yourself!'

'Fine! You can see her tonight. Your place at seven, without _him._'

'Deal. For now.'

'Fine.'

'Good.'

'Awesome.' I added and received looks from both of them in doing so. What?

The receptionist said coldly as we left, 'Next time, don't keep Dr. Jude waiting so long.'

'Trust me, there won't be a next time sister.' Rebecca replied just as coldly.

We left the office silently and I slipped my hand into hers when were were safely out of the building. I didn't know what way I expected that to go but I guess it could have went worse. It also could have went way better.

When we were in the car I asked,

'So what's this 'Alternative', I air quoted the word, '-bar he goes to?'

'I don't know it's called The Square or something stupid like that, he used to go there all the time, now I know why. Cheating bugger.'

'I don't know why anybody in their right minds would cheat on you.'

She sent me a dazzling smile in return and now at least there was one problem I could safely check off my list.

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><p><strong>REVIEW PLEASE ^_^ I'll give a shout-out to any reviewers for this chapter in my next chapter! xx<strong>


	17. Huh, That's Convenient

**Robin POV**

* * *

><p>What have I done. No, seriously. What. Have. I. Done.<p>

I was lying in bed and looked over at Josh's red hair just visible from the covers he'd pulled up around his neck. He'd asked me to go get drinks with him after work last night and it seemed like a good idea, he was crazy hot and seemed like a nice guy so what did I have to lose? The answer? My sanity.

I _ obviously _hadn't planned on getting so drunk and in my defence he shouldn't have taken advantage!

I didn't know whether I felt worse about my slutty antics or how Barney would feel when he found out. _If _he found out. Which he wouldn't. Technically Barney and I weren't together so I could do what I wanted, but hell I _liked _him, I wanted things to work out somehow when all the bull was over and done with. He made me feel safe and on-edge all at the same time and I didn't know _why _I did this!

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sat up, cursing the constant ache in my head. It seemed to be chanting '_Slut, slut, slut.'_ over and over again. I mean we all can have our moments to be a little crazy and that's perfectly fine but not when you're kinda seeing someone, that's just stupid and ruins your chances. Plus it was _Barney,_ how could I be so insane.

'Dammit, Robin.' I breathed as I slowly eased myself out of the bed and got dressed. It was just nine am so Katie and Kyle would still be sound asleep for another few hours. At least.

Wow I hated myself right now.

I was sitting in the kitchen eating my cereal pondering what to do about the lost boy in my bed. I'd never been the notch-on-your-bedpost kind of girl, so I didn't really know the procedure of how to get him the hell outta here as fast as possible, if it were different circumstances I'd be calling Barney to get his opinion on this.

Should I just wake him up and subtly hint that he should leave? Seemed like the most sane thing to do afterall. I'd just wake him up and tell him I had to be somewhere soon and would probably be busy for the rest of the day and probably the rest of the week. I'd also have to tell him my cell was broken. And never, ever work on a Tuesday night again. Sounds good.

I threw my bowl into the sink and made my way back to my room. I creepily stared over him from the side of the bed for a few seconds, hesitating about how I should go about this and what exactly I was going to say to him when he woke up.

Just as I was about to shake him awake, there was a knock at the door. Man, it was _early,_ who could that be?

I ran out and quietly shut the bedroom door as I jogged lightly over to the front door, I opened it to come face-to-face with the man himself. Barney gave me a small smile and it kinda ripped my heart apart. Stupid, _stupid_ girl.

'Barney, ah, wha- What's up?'

I casually closed the space in the door so that he wouldn't be able to see into the apartment.

'Cute pajamas, ' I looked down at myself and he smirked, 'Can I come in? I feel like we should talk.'

'Ah, I have a lot to do today, Barn. Let's talk right here?' I fake smiled and he gave me a look but chuckled and went on anyway.

'Well, ah you know I'm not so good with the words and stuff, but I wanted to talk about ya know, _us_-'

'What do you mean, _us_?'

'I just mean, hell Robin it's hard for me to talk about this out in the hallway, ' He laughed but I couldn't bring myself to join him.'Can't we go inside and talk for a few minutes?'

'Jeez, Barney I don't know if that's a super-duper idea right now. See, Katie's been having bad morning sickness latel-'

'Robin? You here, baby?' I was cut short by the sound of Josh from inside the apartment.

Barney's whole amused expression changed and he raised his eyebrows at me. '_Who_ is that?' He asked as I squeezed my eyes shut and pretended I was anywhere else but here right now.

'Robin, hey I better be-' Josh opened the rest of the door and to my horror he was just wearing boxers. Well, now I couldn't even lie about what was going on. 'Oh, who's this?'

'Josh this is Barney. Barn, we were just-'

Barney have me a cold look that made me want to cry ,

'Robin...I don't need an explanation.' He kinda looked between us for a second and gave out a sorta sad chuckle. 'Better go, then.'

Barney turned to leave and I called after him,

'Barney! Wait, it's not what you think!'

'Well then what _is _this, Robin? A damn slumber party?' Barney's voice was dangerously calm and it killed me so much.

'Barn-' I was cut short again by the sound of the door on the staircase being slammed shut, well he was hardly going to stand and wait for the elevator was he? Now, that'd be awkward.

'Wow, what was that about?' Josh asked, slipping an arm around my waist.

'Just get the hell out, Josh.'

* * *

><p><strong>Barney POV<strong>

I slammed countless doors and stamped around all the way home, I quite honestly didn't know whether to be angry or devastated. Was she serious? After all we'd been through, I know she liked to reject me when I was being flirty but I thought that was because she didn't want to start anything because of Katie or Nora.

The sad thing is that I genuinely almost went to her office last night to surprise her, maybe if I'd actually went rather than being Barney-No-Balls then she wouldn't have slept with _him._

I never got this emotional, that was the rule. No feelings. But I was angry, sad, frustrated you name it.

I quickly shut the door behind me when I got into my apartment and swiftly broke a lamp. I over-turned a coffee table and threw pillows and stuff around for a good five minutes before I eventually just lay on the ground and stared up at the ceiling, trying not to think.

She never loved me, if she did how could she do something like this? I was with Nora because I thought I had to, and unless this guy was some weird, alien guy who could carry children, then I'm pretty sure Robin didn't get him pregnant. Ofocurse she had a choice in this.

In a weird way, I totally saw this coming. She couldn't wait around forever for me, but if she'd just _waited _one more day to decide to move on, then maybe I'd be in a completely different situation right now.

I had the rule of no commitment, that was always a firm rule but with Robin the trouble of commitment didn't seem so...Troubling.

I may have actually went the distance with that stupid, beautiful, funny, infuriating, one-of-a-kind canadian and I totally blew my chances. Well, technically she's the one who blew our chances but whatever.

We'd got through so many things, worse than this, and I only hoped that this would simply be a tiny crack in the glass for our... relationship one day. But for now I was feeling pretty bad about myself.

I slammed my fists onto the ground once more before getting to my feet. I was feeling kind of weird, was this how Nora felt when I cheated on her? Wow. I know I wasn't actaully _with_ Robin, but it felt like she'd cheated on me.

Ok, enough of this feeling-sorry-for-myself bull. Priorities, Barney. I gave myself a few slaps and decided to go see Ted, he would be good company. He's almost too boring to get me any angrier and I needed to calm down a bit.

So a hop, skip and a jump away and I was furiously knocking on Ted's door. I sort of hoped that Rebecca wasn't here, It got even more awkward between us when it was basically her fault that I was hit by a bus.

So, with my luck, ofcourse she was the one to answer the door.

'Hey, Rebecca. Nice to see ya,'

'You too Barney,' I went to walk on in but she went for a hug, so it was like she just kinda grabbed onto me awkwardly. Nice one, Becky.

'Barney!' I escaped the weird thing Rebecca was doing and swivelled around to be met by an oncoming hug from Nora.

'Nora?'

I returned the hug kinda swiftly and looked around to see nobody else was here, 'Where is everyone?'

'Ted, Lily and Marshall are visiting Lily's dad and it was just Rebecca here, it's basically like her second home now, right 'Becca?'

'Yeah, and Nora came looking for you here but ofcourse you weren't here- ' They both laughed all girly, 'And turns out we have a lot in common so we're just hanging out.'

'That's ah, great. That you guys are getting on, I mean.'

'Yeah, we were just talking about Ted's new project you see he showed it to me and I thought, 'Wow, that's an ugly building' but the more I looked and looked the more I saw what he...'

Rebecca was being so boring I couldn't help literally drown her out by singing a _Train _song in my head. When she had stopped talking I felt like it would be ok to finally just leave. I excused myself but Nora caught my arm on the way out.

'Triangle tonight?'

'Ah, Nora, I'd love to but I actually have plans tonight.'

She looked kinda hurt for a second before blurting out, 'What plans!?'

'I have to go to a dinner.'

'A dinner?'

'Did I mumble?'

'No need to be catty, Barney. ' She pouted and rubbed her tummy, damn let me leave.

'Yeah...So bye.' She began to say something but I ducked out before she had a chance. Yeah I was going to a dinner tonight, and although certain hosts weren't my favourite people right now, I had a sinking feeling they'd need me.

* * *

><p><strong>Robin POV<strong>

_Everything_ was clean. I mean spotless, even Kyle had gotten a shower for the occasion. I needed something, anything to take my mind off the Josh thing and cleaning seemed to kinda do the job. It was six-thirty and my dad would be here soon. He was one of those people who thought being five minutes early was being on-time so he'd be here so soon.

I had just finished quickly throwing on a dark pink, mid-thigh floaty dress with matching shoes and was re-scrubbing the kitchen counters when Katie appeared from the bathroom wearing her new dress. She was going for the sophisticated look and I couldn't bear to tell her the heavy eyeliner and red lipstick made her look like a high-class whore so I just nodded and smiled when she did a little twirl.

'Robin, maybe you should take a little break from cleaning?'

She asked softly, she was just being nice but I was way past feeling sorry for myself and was just plain angry. Mood swing time, God help Katie.

'Katie. Just go freakin' finish your hair or something!'

'It _is _finished! What's got you into such a bad mood?'

'It's nothing. Just...Go, ok?'

'Robin, you're doing that eyebrow thing. Now, what's up? C'mon.'

I sighed and sat down at the table, Katie joined me and I didn't say anything as I removed the rubber gloves I'd had on all day.

'I kind of slept with somebody last night.' I blurted it all out in a quick little burst and to my surprise Katie smiled.

'Was it Barney?' She was practically beaming, her smile hitting her ears.

'...No.'

Katie's smile completely vanished and all she had time to say was; 'Oh...' in a kinda sad way before we heard the sound of our dad's voice in the living room. She gave me a look and I gave her a stern look back. It felt like an agreement not to mention this again, which I was perfectly fine with to be completely honest.

We both jumped up and went to the living room, my dad was standing sorta awkwardly next to Kyle making terribly forced small-talk so I went right over and hugged him.

'Hey, Robs.'

'Hey dad.' I smiled and turned to see Katie still standing a few feet away from him, looking anxious. To my horror he just gave her a blank expression and nodded her way, before giving her baby bump a cold glance.

You could feel the atmosphere in the room turn sour pretty quickly, so a knock at the door was a welcoming sound. Well, it _was_ welcoming until I saw who it was.

Barney was standing there when I threw the door open, he seemed to be lurking behind doors a lot recently.

'Hey guys!' Barney said as he squeezed past me without a glance and gave Kyle a high-five. Katie was staring at me trying to catch my eye but I refused to make eye contact as Barney gave her a back a little pat.

'Barney, my man.' Kyle cried, smiling.

'I don't believe we've met...' My dad said skeptically, giving Barney a once-over.

'Ofcourse, Ofcourse. Barney Stinson,' Barney extended his arm to my father and they shook hands, 'Thought tonight would be the _perfect _night to introduce myself. That's why Robin invited me,' My eyebrows shot straight up and I tried to catch his eye but he was on a roll. 'I was thinking that new bar in the Square? I've been there many-a-time for post-golf drinks.' Barney's never picked up a golf club in his entire life.

'Ah, you're a golfer! And that sounds wonderful, Robin, what are we waiting for?'

I tried not to notice that my father was completely ignoring Katie and Kyle the whole way over to the Bar when we got into his car. Katie, Kyle and I had to squeeze into the back seats while Barney and him talked aimlessly the entire time.

We got to the bar and it was the same until we sat down, Barney and my dad sat and talked about sports and money and business while Katie and I tried desperately to join in the conversation although it was pretty pointless, they weren't listening to us at all. We weren't even mentioned until about ten minutes into the conversation.

'So,' Barney began, 'I hear Kyle's got a new job? And so does Katie? And that they've put in a deposit on a new apartment and have bought most of the stuff for the baby-' My dad looked kinda surprised at the quick turn in the conversation but listened to Barney intently anyway. What was he doing? '-And that they've read baby books and took classes on parenting. And that Katie's been taking a night class to try to train to be a nurse-'

'Really, Katie?'

Katie almost jumped out of her skin when my dad adressed her for the first time that night, 'Yeah dad, I wanna be a nurse, and I've found a job working in a call centre.'

'Well that's good, princess.' He looked kinda surprised by himself but leaned closer to Katie anyway, 'So tell me about these classes?'

The next few minutes consisted of something I hadn't expected at all, he was asking her questions about her new life and seemed impressed about what she was saying. It was weird seeing him care so much.

I'm pretty sure I owe Barney big-time for this.

'I'm just off to the men's room, can't hold what you haven't go in your hand, ey John?'

My dad went into a fit of giggles and said; 'Too right, my boy.' Before going back to talking to Katie and Kyle. They were distracted so I decided to follow Barney and hopefully see what was going on.

He was just about to go into the men's room when I caught him by the arm.

'What are you _doing_ here?'

'Saving your ass,'

'We were doing just fine.'

'Yeah, looked like it.'

I hated it being like this between us and just wanted some sort of miracle to happen and erase last night all together.

'Listen...Barney. About earlier, I think you're upset and I just want to say-'

'Me? Upset?' He scoffed, 'I'm fine! You do your thing, why should I care?'

'Well, when you said you wanted to talk about _us_, I mean I assumed-'

'Assumed what? What did you _assume_, Robin?'

'Stop interrupti-'

'Nope.'

'Ugh!'

'I don't know why you're upset, I'm not upset and everythings great so what's the big deal?'

'I thought we had something here, Barney.'

'Then why did you ruin it?'

I didn't know what to say to that, he was right. This was all my fault.

'I don't know.'

'Listen, I got to go. Let me know if happy families works out, I'll be around.'

He started to walk away and I said;

'C'mon, Barney don't walk away again like a little bitch!'

'Say 'Hi' to Josh for me!' He called sarcastically as he stalked away from me for the second time this day.

* * *

><p><strong>Barney POV<strong>

Barney stop, stop, stop. This is a bad idea, it won't turn out well. Things will work themselves out, who's this gonna help.

Turn around and go home, c'mon go, go, go.

But then again, why should I? It's always been hardwired into my brain: 'Don't get mad, get even.' Well in this case, I got mad now I'm gonna get even. She hurt me, although I'd never admit it.

I walked into the building, up the stairs and before I knew it I was at the door. It's hard to believe I was just at the restaurant a few minutes ago, I kinda jogged here.

I knocked furiously on the door until she answered.

When Nora opened the door her eyes lit up to see me and she barely had time to say; 'Oh, hey Barney!' Before I grabbed her face and kissed her.

She didn't respond at first but when she did I pushed her back so we were lying on her couch.

I felt like I was betraying myself, Robin and Nora all at the same time but I was so angry I didn't even care.

A few minutes of the same passed before I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I pulled away from Nora for a second to take my phone out to preferably turn it off. I noticed a text from Marshall so I quickly opened it to check it.

'Huh, that's convenient.'

'What is?' Nora asked, panting.

'Lily's in labour.'

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oooh what did you think of that! Leave me a review please:) Shout out to 'Tonixx' and 'Alysiaaa' for reviewing! Same for next chapter, every review for this chapter gets a shout-out. Do you like the longer chapters?**


	18. That's Illegal You Criminal

Barney POV

Nora was clinging onto me and I was just frozen in place.

'Barney!' I just widened my eyes and stared at the phone again. Reality hit me like a bus to the side of the head and I untangled myself from _Nora _immediately. What was I thinking? I wasn't, that's what.

'Barney, talk to me!'

'Nope.'

'Ugh! You're a child! C'mon we gotta go. Now.'

I vaguely remember Nora leading me down to her car, I leaned on the back of the passenger seat as Nora talked on the phone driving us to hospital.

'That's illegal you criminal.' I snipped at her,

She put her hand over the receiver for a second and looked round at me as we sat at a red light, 'Barney, your mood swings are boring me, darling.'

'Oooh.' I said sarcastically and she gave me an evil glare before going back to driving recklessly. It hadn't sunk in that Lily was in labour yet. Did Ted know? Did Robin and Katie and stuff know? Were they already at the hospital?

She finally put the phone away and we sat in stony silence.

'You're awfully quiet, not like you.' She noted after a few minutes,

'Nice observation.'

'Want to talk about what just happened?'

'Are you high? Ofcourse I don't.'

'You're really that ashamed?'

'Yes.'

She swallowed hard and I risked a glance at her. Tears stung her eyes and I noticed her rubbing her belly. A pang of guilt went through me and I realised I could have been a bit kinder. None of this was _her_fault really, not any more.

'Look, Nora I'm sorry. I'm a jerk.'

Silence.

'Please forgive me?'

Silence. God Dammit.

'Por Favor?' I asked,

'No.'

'Por Favor?'

'No.'

'Por Favor?'

'Just tell me why! I _know _you don't want me. Why now?'! She slammed her fist onto the steering wheel and the car actually swerved a bit, narrowly missing two kids on bikes.

'Chill.'

'No!'

'Fine! Nora I'll tell you, _I'm _high. There. Said it. Bam.'

'No you aren't stop lying, idiot.'

I sighed and suddenly found a person walking their dog so interesting outside my own window. Hmm, bit late to be walking the dog? It was like nine at night, I was worrying about Lil, Nora seemed calm enough talking to them on the phone and she insisted on talking about _this_ so I'm pretty sure she would've told me if there was anything wrong.

'What did Robin do?'

My head snapped in her direction, 'Why's this anything to do with Robin? It's not.'

'Yes it is, what did she do?'

'Nothing I'd be concerned about.' I obviously wasn't lying too convincingly.

'Barney.'

'She slept with a guy at her work! There, Nora! Happy?' I blurted it all out quickly and flopped back against the seat heavily looking away from her again. She didn't say anything but when I peeked up at her she had a strange expression on her face. She looked thoughtful and kinda sad.

'...What's wrong?' I forced myself to ask.

'...There was never going to be a 'you and me' again, was there?'

I sighed and placed my hand on her thigh, 'It wasn't you, it was me.'

'Great line.'

'True story.'

I massaged my temples and she began;

'You really love her, don't you?'

'What! No! God, Nora.' I flicked up the collar of my suit as Nora pulled into the Hospital parking lot.

She shut off the car and we sat for a minute or two in silence. Nora just stared at me until I eventually sighed and slid down the car seat a bit.

'She's...Very important to me. I feel protective over her, I don't like her being with anybody else. It's not fair to say that when I've never tried to properly be with her myself. But seeing her with other people, moving on, it's...annoying.' I chuckled lightly as Nora said,

'Annoying? Really?'

'Yeah,' I shrugged.

'She can't wait around for you forever, you know.'

'Yeah. I know.'

We didn't say anything else the whole way up to the third floor of the hospital, we spied the room that Lily was in that the lady at the front desk told us she was in.

'Shoot, I left my phone in the car. I'll be right back, ok?'

I made a positive grunt and watched her walk away. I was feeling guilty. Very guilty.

It had to be put on pause though, at least for now. We would all get through this day relatively stress-free and without drama for the sake of Lily and the baby, they didn't deserve to be put through stupid drama right now.

I jogged the rest of the way to the door and burst in to see Lily and he dad talking, he was holding one of her hands and a coffee cup in the other,

'Lil!'

'Barney!'

I ran over to hug her, 'What's up?' I asked, claiming the seat at the other side of the bed and giving her dad a nod.

'Oh you know, just having a baby.'

'Awesome. You seem calm though, shouldn't you be screaming like in the movies?'

'I'm not ready to actually _have _the baby yet, I'm just in labour.'

'How long?'

'They don't know. They said they'll check in an hour to see if I can go home and come back or if I have to stay here.'

'Huh, I was sort of hoping he'd be born when I got here.'

She gave me a look and laughed. I smirked at her as she said; 'Same old Barney. And what do you mean '_he'?_'

'Um, it's a boy!'

'It's a girl!'

'Bet you ten dollars it's a boy.'

'Deal.'

'Well, kids I better go get a coffee, don't know how long we'll all be here.'

Her dad left the room leaving me alone with Lily, 'Where is everyone?' I asked.

'Ted and Marshall went to get food, can't get hold of Robin, Rebecca's on her way aaand the doctor is late.'

'You can't get hold of Robin? Why?'

'Cell's off, don't worry though we're not in no rush, we'll try calling her again later.'

I nodded slowly, considering. It was too early for her to have turned her phone off overnight. Was she still upset? Maybe she was just seeing a movie or her phone died. Yeah, yeah that's it.

'Barney...Can I ask you something?'

'Shoot.'

'Why did you and Nora break up?'

I coughed and looked down at my hands. Well, she was going to find out somehow. Nora had texted me earlier to say that Rebecca knew she was pregnant so it was just a matter of time.

'Well ah, this is going to sound strange. But, um well I'll start at the beginning?'

'Yeah, okay.' She gave me an understanding look and held my hand.

Then I told her everything. From the night she told me she was pregnant to her leaving me at the altar to helping her find the baby daddy. I conventiently left out the parts where I kinda cheated on her again and the other little details regarding Robin.

'So...How are you supposed to find the dad if she doesn't know who he is?'

'Well she knows that he's probably got a pretty good job and what he looks like. That's about it.'

'Good luck, Nora.' Lily said sarcastically and I chuckled.

A few minutes later there was a tap at the door and a tall doctor peeked his head around the door.

'Mrs Erikson?' He didn't look up from his chart when he walked into the room, 'Lily? Right?'

'Yup, not like I've been visiting you for the past nine months Dr. Jude.' She rolled her eyes as he began to ask her a few questions about how she was feeling and stuff. Boring.

He looked so, so familiar and I couldn't point out where I knew him from. It was bothering me so much I was creepily staring at him, I tried unsucessfully to look away when he saw me basically looking like I was checking him out.

'Barney?' He smiled suddenly and shook my hand, 'It's Mason, from the bar?'

'Sure, Mason!' It all clicked suddenly and we did the 'bro' handshake which I wad impressed he knew. Mason was there the first night that Nora and I had went to the Triangle.

'You two know eachother?!' Lily asked, exasperated.

'Kinda, we've had a few words. We met at the Triangle bar.'

'Lily, I had no idea he was your doctor! This guy's awesome.'

'Oh stop, I'll blush.' Mason said sarcastically. Lily was looking at him quite carefully, seemingly weighing up something in her head.

'Well, it looks all good in here, guess I'll see you guys soon enough.'

He gave us a little salute before he left and Lily said,

'Should have known you'd know him, major douchebag.'

'That's so rude. I am upset, I may never play the violin again.'

'You don't play the violin, Barney.'

Ted and Marshall came back a little while later when Lily had fallen asleep, I honestly didn't know you could fall asleep during labour but sleeping beauty found a way.

I'd been asked a few times to go get something to eat but I felt strangely protective of Lily. Marshall was holding one of her hands and I was holding the other, desperately calling Robin every five minutes until she would pick up the phone. Rebecca had arrived just when Lily had fallen asleep,but she mostly sat with Nora out in the waiting room reading magazines and talking about...fashion...or makeup or something.

We were all here besides Robin and even though I was still mad at her, she needed to be here for this. No stupid fight would ruin this, I wasn't insane. I was so, so close to just going and getting her when I received a text from the girl herself;

_**From: Robin S.**_

_**Y do I hav so many missed calls ?**_

I tapped out a reply as quickly as I could on this stupid blackberry with it's damn...small buttons.

_**To: Robin S.**_

_**Lily labour, Downtown Hsptal**_

Two excruciatingly long minutes later before she replied.

_**From: Robin S.**_

_**On my way.**_

I slid my hand from Lily's carefully and stretched a bit. Man, this was _boring. _Where was Robin at times like these? Ted was freaking out too much to want to do something so I just wandered into the waiting room to find the barbie twins. Seriously, what was I thinking? It was weird seeing them together when I'd been ya know, _together _with both of them.

'Just gotta go tinkle,' Nora smiled as she went by me to the bathroom and Rebecca approached me, wringing her hands.

'So?'

'She's sleeping.'

'_Sleeping? _How!?'

'Trust her to find a way to relax,' We both laughed just as I saw my new buddy Mason coming down the hall. He'd been kinda lax about Lily, I tried to take it as a good sign and hoped he wasn't just being a lazy ass.

'Dammit,' Rebecca groaned.

'What's wrong?' I asked,

'Ex-husband alert.'

'...What do you mean?' I whispered furiously. 'What do you mean ex-husband?!'

'Pretty sure there's only one definition, Barney.'

'_Mason's_ your ex-husband?'

'How do you know Mas-'

'Barney!' Mason interrupted her and high-fived me. 'And Rebecca?' He looked back and forth between us looking kinda guarded.

'How do you two know eachother?!' Rebecca demanded furiously.

'We met at a bar.' Mason said gruffly,

'Not your stupid shape bar?'

'It's called the Triangle.'

'Whatever! What were you doing there, huh? Sleeping with another girl? Man whore.'

'Rebecca! What's happened to you!'

I could barely get a word in, although through the haze I could basically make out that my buddy Mason who I met at the bar was also Lily and Marshall's doctor and now...he was Rebecca's ex husband. Well, damn.

'Don't you walk away from me, Rebecca!' Rebecca was swingin' her hips at a hundred miles an hour, in the opposite diretion of both Lily's room and the exit so I'm not really sure where she actually went when she stormed away from us.

Mason sighed and went over to a little nurse station situated a few feet away from me.

I ran an anxious hand through my hair and looked around. Nora caught my eye, she was hiding behind the wall looking severely nervous. I quickly made my way over to her to be yanked forwards out of sight of the little waiting room when I was close enough for her to reach me.

'What the hell...? Nora, what's up?'

'Barney that's him.'

'That's who?'

'The guy over there!'

She pointed over to the nurse's station where Mason, the only guy, was standing.

'What about him?'

She looked at him, then me, then the ground and I just barely caught what she said;

'He's the one I slept with.'

Oh you have _got _to be kidding me!


	19. Language, Tomcat

**A/N: Hey everyone it would seriously mean a lot for you to leave me a little review, I read all of them and reply and I feel like I'm writing to nobody!Haha leave me a review or something and cheer me up! :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Barney POV<strong>

I'd say it was common knowledge that I, Barney Stinson loved to know secrets. But there was just some secrets, if you could even call this a secret, that I just didn't want to know.

'Barney! Did you hear me?!' Nora said in a furious whisper.

I looked at her wide eyed, like a deer caught in the headlights.

I opened my mouth and I tried to make words I promise! But it was like my brain decided to stop working in that second.

'Barney, answer me!' More of the mouth gaping open, confused looking back and forth. I could see she was on the verge of going _completely_ insane.

I looked behind me to see Mason give the nurses' a wave before disappearing down the hospital hallway and I swear I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So...I laughed.

I mean tears running down my face, almost pee my pants hysterically laugh. Why was it funny? You tell me, I could tell I was going to be in some serious trouble but I literally couldn't help myself. Nora gave me a hurt look,

'Why are you laughing!'

'I..Nora..Wait!' I tried to talk to her through the laughing but it just wasn't possible and she stormed away from me in the opposite direction. Oops.

I didn't know what else to do so I sat on a little chair and tried to control my laughter for a second. I looked around for my phone, realising I hadn't saw it since I'd tried to get in touch with Robin but a kid waving at me caught my eye.

'Hey, Barney!' I looked up to see my eleven-year-old laser tag partner Tommy walking over to sit down in the chair next to me, 'What's so funny?'

'Tommy! Ah, you're too young to understand. What up with the cast?'

'Busted my arm skateboarding, man. No big dealio, why was ya laughing so damn much?'

'Language, Tomcat. And it's a grown up thing, you seriously would not understand.'

'Try me.'

'Ok...Ever had a secret so big it'd probably change people's lives?'

'Nope. That's what's so funny? Dude, I thought you was gonna tell me a good joke or somethin'!'

'Tommy pull up your pants and go find your mom, I gotta be somewhere alone with my thoughts and stuff.'

'Whoa, that's deep man.' Tommy had gotten into this habit of dressing like he was a 90's rapper and speaking like a stoner, I seriously hoped he would hurry up and grow out of it.

'Whatevs, little man.'

I jumped up and gave Tommy a wave. I guess I needed fresh air for my thoughts or something so I headed towards the exit. I ah, pondered what to do about this. Do I tell them...or let them figure this out for themselves? Man...my head was messed up. They were going to find out anyway pretty soon, they couldn't coincidentally all be in separate places at once all night, or however long Lil was going to be in labour.

A short doctor yelled at me for slamming doors as I neared the back exit of the hospital. I had my eyes fixed onto the tiled, blue floor as I walked down the brightly coloured and _clean _smelling hallway. In fact I was so focused on the ground that if she hadn't said my name, I would have walked right on past her.

'Barney!' My head snapped up to see Robin, her hair a mess, cheeks rosy and her bag clinging on for dear life to her shoulder as she hurried down the hall in my direction. In that wonderful moment, nothing mattered and I grabbed my girl and hugged her tightly. I tried to forget about Josh and Nora and the babies and Rebecca and _everything_ in that moment. It was nice while it lasted.

She was shocked at my hug but squeezed me back around the shoulders just as tightly.

'Barney, about-'

'Shh.' I interrupted her and released her, grabbing her hand and leading her with me down an unknown hallway.

'Where are we going?' She questioned,

'I don't know, but we seriously need to _talk._'

'Okay...'

We sat on a window ledge for a minute to talk, this was getting out of hand I was actually almost shaking.

'What's going on, Barn?' She sweetly took my hand in hers and looked up at me briefly.

'So much stuff I don't even know where to begin.'

'How's Lily?'

'Great.'

'And how are you?'

'Bad.'

'I see...Wanna elaborate?'

'Well I met Lily and Marshall's doctor,'

'That's nice,' She smiled.

'Yeah I also met Rebecca's ex-husband.'

'Oh, um ok then.'

'And I met Nora's babydaddy.'

Robin didn't say anything, she just kinda looked up at me with a half surprised half confused face and who could blame her.

'Turns out they all have more in common than we previously thought,'

'What do you mean?'

Without another word I dragged her down the hall not really knowing where we were going until we got to an elevator. We stayed quiet waiting for it to arrive and I began whistling some stupid tune, I risked a glance in her direction to see she was staring downwards. I wanted desperately to move the hair aside from her face but kept my hand in hers and my other firmly at my other side.

The elevator made a 'ding' noise and opened up, it was completely empty and we made our way in.

'We going to Lily's room? How is she? What's going on?' She asked, gesturing to the buttons.

I nodded my head once, my eyes fixated elsewhere. Thinking.

'Well...What floor is it?'

With deliberate slowness I reached out across her and tapped the button for Lily's floor, I saw her looking at me from the corner of my eye when the doors closed but averted her eyes when I looked back.

The elevator went into motion and I noticed it was making weird clicking noises the further it went up, we weren't saying anything until we began to reach the floor.

The doors opened onto Lily's floor all right, but it was obviously some unused part of the wards. We must've used some employee elevator or something.

'Eh, Barney?'

I chuckled. 'Wrong place,'

The doors shut and we were on our way down again and I peeked over at her again, she was playing with a piece of her hair and avoiding eye contact quite obviously.

I sighed heavily and the elevator began to make louder clicking noises. She actually looked up at me looking confused,

'What the-'

Then a loud bang emitted from the roof of the elevator and the lights went out throwing the elevator into complete darkness. Then it stopped all together with a jolt after shifting up and down slightly a couple of times.

Well, damn.

**Mason POV**

'No need to cry Susan, I'd have thought a little raw honesty would help!'

Nurse Love Handles, otherwise known as Susan was stomping down the hallway at earthquake force, tears and everything. For goodness sake if my fat folds were showing through my shirt I'd want somebody to tell _me._

I'd avoided going near the ex wife since I'd first saw her, if she was friends with Lily and Michael or Marshall or whatever he was called I'd need to be extra careful, me no likey awkward situations and there was sure to be a hell of a lot of them before this goddamn labour was through with.

Rounding a corner to head to the cafeteria and get a coffee and muffin, I saw the charts for my next patients sitting in a neat pile at the front desk. I decided to avoid that crap but Nurse Finley was a real hard ass about getting stuff done and stuff so I was actually forced to get on my hands and knees to crawl past the desk without her seeing me. The things I do for muffins, dear God.

I was halfway across the desk when I heard _her_ voice from behind me.

'Mason what the hell are you doing?' Rebecca was looking right down at me and it caused Nurse Finley to lean over the desk and look right down at him.

Busted.

I grimaced vaguely in Rebecca's direction and slowly rose to face Nurse Finley, she didn't look happy and just gave me a moody look before throwing the charts at me.

I groaned heavily and turned to come face-to-face with Rebecca.

'Rebecca, what the hell you want now?' I slurred lazily and stomped past her but she followed.

'Why aren't you checking on Lily?'

'Last time I checked she was asleep.' I was walking quite fast down the hall and she was struggling to keep up, it was almost kind of funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh in the company of this woman. Damn woman, leaving_ me._ I'll show her what leaving looks like.

I ducked into a strictly staff only room but to my horror she followed me straight into the now currently empty room, with a face like thunder.

'Rebecca is there some sort of reason for you stalking me?'

'Relax darling, I would never lower myself to stalking _you._ FYI Lily's awake now, and she's in some pain. Go help her or something.'

'Isn't there nurses there?'

'Well...yes. But shouldn't she have her own doctor?'

'No, now let me be.'

'What are you even doing?'

'Doctor stuff.'

'No you're not.'

'Can't I catch a break! Fuck this!'

'This is the reason I ended it with you, you're such an asshole! You're selfish and condescending and narcissistic and...God!'

'I thought you broke up with me 'cause I screwed some girl from the Triangle in our bed?' I smirked and she didn't take it well, I got a slap in the face aw.

'You cheated on me-'

'-Only once!'

'Yeah one time too many! You cheated on me, stole my money and there was just no _passion_ anymore, you're so cold!'

'Rebecca what are you even talking about, there _was _passion!'

'The only time we even slept together was in a complete rage!'

I stepped closer to her.

'Don't try to pull that crap with me Becca, I was a good husband!'

'Yeah when you weren't out drinking all night!'

'I drank to make you seem less boring!'

She got all up in my face, I could actually feel her breath on my face.

'Don't speak to me like that you completely have no right! Asshole!'

'Don't you dare, who do you think you are anyway, little miss perfect?!'

'I frickin' _hate _you!'

'Hate you more.'

With my last words we stopped yelling, breathing heavily. She looked angrily into my eyes then her eyes slowly moved to the bottom of my face.

Before she could even help herself she crashed her lips angrily to mine.

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><p><strong>A:N Just a quick reminder to REVIEW! I'll give you a shout-out x**


	20. Not That Type Of Proposal

**A/N Hellooo! I know I've been inconsistent with my updating, sorry! I'll do complete instant updates if I get reviews so please, please, please leave me a quick review! It's easy I promise :3**

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><p><strong>Barney POV<strong>

'Barney!' Robin cried and stepped forward to grab onto my suit jacket, I must really like this girl if I'm willing to let her crinkle the suit.

'Robs, chill the elevator's just stuck.' The lights came back on and for a second I thought we were sweet and the elevator would move again but we had no such luck.

She realised she was still clinging to me and let go quickly as if I'd burned her, jumping back and hitting her back off the opposite wall of the elevator.

'Well this is convenient.' I smirked and slid down the wall so I was sitting on the floor. Robin looked at me again, with a slightly puzzled expression on her face.

'Hey, what did you mean about Rebecca's ex and stuff?'

'I don't know if I wanna say, it's really messed up my head.'

'Barn, what's going on?'

I made some sort of noise between a groan and snort, she was on to me.

'Barney.'

'Well what if I don't wanna tell you.' I said childishly.

A tiny, tiny smile appeared and she considered me for a second, humoring me.

'Ok, ok I don't even want to know anyway.'

I had to.

'Ok...Fine!' I pretend pouted, 'You aren't going to believe this but... well they're the same person.'

'What?' She gave me a look, 'Who is?'

'I'll try to explain in such a way that's kinda easy to understand, because I feel like my head's gonna explode in a minute.'

'Ok, go on.'

'Well Rebecca's ex husband is a doctor, who happened to be Lily and Marshall's doctor.'

'Doesn't sound too complicated?'

'Here's the punchline.' I began, 'Rebecca left her husband because he cheated on her right?'

'Right.' She nodded.

'Aaand I actually met _him_ at the club that _Nora_ met the baby daddy-'

Robin gasped and went to interrupt me,

'Let me finish, you'll love this. Guess who's just recognised him?'

She looked at her hands for a second in thought.

'...Barney no way that's way too much of a coincidence, you don't think...?'

'I don't _think_, I _know._ Nora just saw him and she told me he's the one she slept with.'

'So Nora is the the girl he cheated on Rebecca with?'

'Yup.'

'And she's pregnant?'

'Yup.'

'Do they know?'

'Nope.'

'Barney you have to tell someody what you know!'

'I just did,'

Our gazes locked and she looked away, looking uncomfortable.

I looked up to see her desperately pressing the emergency call button and banging the walls but it was completely useless, I chuckled.

'You really don't wanna be anywhere near me do you? That's pretty ironic, Robs considering it's me who's supposed to be mad at you.'

She sighed and stopped trying to do something about this, with a sigh she slid down onto the floor opposite me.

'Thanks for you know, helping with Katie and my dad and stuff. That was really sweet of you, you didn't have to do that.'

'I know. What you did was stupid Robin but it's none of my business what you do.'

'But Barn I _want_ what I do to be your business,'

'Well I sure as hell didn't want anything to do with that,'

'I don't mean _that_ ofcourse, but I want you in my life again.'

'How is that supposed to work Robin? I don't want to hurt you and hell I hate to admit it but you...Well what you did bothered me,'

'And _I_ don't want to hurt you, Barney. Never, ever, ever again it was a horrible mistake.'

I sighed.

'Why?'

'Why what?'

'Why'd you do it?'

She was playing with her ring and suddenly looked up to meet my gaze,

'I felt like if you were going to do something serious about _us_ you'd have done it by now.'

'I'm not ready for anything serious.'

'Neither am I.'

'Liar.'

'I'm totally not lying!' She did that stupid eyebrow where she knitted them together that meant she was lying.

'But you can see yourself wanting something serious in the future?' It wasn't a question.

'Well yeah...'

'Robin, I can't see myself _ever _wanting to commit,'

'But Barney you _will_ want to, someday.'

'That's what scares me! That's not _me.'_

'It is, it's about damn well time you realised it to.'

Her stupid words echoed around my head like a bad hangover and I banged my head lightly against the wall of the elevator.

We sat there for a few seconds in silence, just staring at eachother. We both had so much going on right now, why wasn't life fair like in the movies?

I groaned and put my face into my hands, frustrated.

I checked around the little box room for cameras, couldn't have these next words on tape 'less I wanted to _totally_ destroy my rep.

I started talking at _about_ a hundred miles per hour.

'But _Robin,_ you don't get it. With you, I can't _not_ be serious. I feel like if I got you back properly I'd need to hold on forever and ever and I _know_ neither of us want that, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want relationships to go anywhere, it would be so stupid to start anything. I'd give anything to change who I am and we could be together and live together and have like a dog or something. You have no idea how much it kills me every single day to want you so much but not want to hurt you. Don't you get that? I'll get over you I promise, I won't ever bother you again and-'

'Barney!'

I looked up to see she had shuffled across the elevator floor to be sitting right in front of me.

She looked me right in the eyes and I desperately wanted to look down again but I just couldn't, I wasn't ever this emotional or honest in front of anyone, not even my own mother.

'Barney.' She took my face in her hands, 'I'm not asking for a marriage proposal, I'm not asking for anything. All I'm asking for is to stop trying to get rid of feelings that are inevitable because quite frankly I'm tired of it, I'm being selfish here and I'm asking you to be selfish with me. Will you?'

She looked intently at me for a second and after a while dropped her hands and stood up, leaving me sitting on the floor.

Robin got out her cell phone and had some tense conversation with somebody before hanging up.

'Ted's ah, gonna get help.'

I nodded slowly, thinking some things over.

I silently wondered why she didn't immediately use her phone to call for help as soon as she realised we were stuck and it made me smile.

'What are you so happy about.' She spat,

'You are _so_ still in love with me.' I looked up at her and smirked,

'I thought we were being serious here?'

'Hmmm. Are we even capable of being serious for more than five minutes?'

'Guess not.'

I got up and approached her,

'I have a proposal for you,' I said, taking her hand. I chuckled when her eyes widened, 'Not _that_ type of proposal Robs.' I rolled my eyes.

I finally got a smile outta her.

'What proposal then, Barn?'

I hesitated, suddenly not feeling so hot. Ugh, what the hell things couldn't possibly get any worse.

'Let's get together. In secret. Like we did before.'

There, said it. Well done, Stinson.

She looked at me skeptically,

'Barney-'

'Hear me out! No talk about marriage or boring relationship-y stuff. Just ya know, be together.'

'Yeah because it worked out so well the last time,' She said sarcastically.

'Robin...With all this Nora crap I reckon it'd be a while before we could _really_ be together.'

'I thought you didn't do relationships?'

'Neither do you.'

'So what are you saying, Barney?'

'Let's just not put a label on it, just go with it.'

'Just go with it...' She repeated, considering.

'Clean slate, you forgive me for all the bull I've put you through and I've basically forgot about the Josh thing already. Promise.' It sort of felt like I was begging and I'd never felt so whipped in my entire life but it was _Robin_. I didn't give a damn, I'd beg all day long. Privately ofcourse, I did have some dignity.

'I like that idea,' She smiled and I lifted her hand up to kiss it quickly.

With absolutely perfect timing the elevator jerked and began moving downwards again. I let go of her hand just as the elevator reached the bottom and the doors slid open to reveal Ted and a fairly fat dude wearing overalls.

'God damn kids messin' wi' the lifts again,' The fat guy sneered before quickly ushering us out,

Ted gave us a 'Thank-God-You're-Here' look as we walked away, he began chattering to Robin at record speed about Lily and the baby.

But I didn't really hear him.

I was too preoccupied with the feel of Robin's hand in mine behind Ted's back and the secret smiles we were exchanging.

I liked this idea too.

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><p><strong>Ted POV<strong>

Nearly there.

Twenty minutes later when Robin had cooed over Lily and spoken to her for a bit Lily was sitting fairly calmly but then BAM! God damn contraction and worst of all their doctor was absolutely nowhere to be found. To say Marshall freaked out was a complete and utter frickin' understatement.

I'd never saw one woman jump so high in my life so I was ushered out just in case stuff happened and babies started appearing or whatever.

Nora was wandering about in the hall looking kinda lost, Rebecca had disappeared mumbling about coffee a while ago and to tell you the truth I never know where Robin and Barney go. I was getting suspicious but doubt he'd tell me anything right now, we'd drifted and seriously needed a beer and a manly man chat to reconnect or whatever.

I went timidly over to Nora, she was crying which I realised way too late unfortunately.

'Ted!' She cried and pulled me into a hug, I awkwardly put my arms lightly around her patting her back lamely and cursing her silently for getting mascara onto my shirt.

'Ah, there, there.' I tried to comfort her but she just kept crying and passing doctors and nurses and stuff were giving us looks. She didn't stop. Wow, what do I do now.

'Are you ok, miss?' A nurse with severely frizzy hair held back with a strained elastic band approached us and patted Nora on the back gently.

She jumped out of her skin and swivelled around to face the surprised Nurse.

'Fine, fine!' She squeaked and grabbed my arm, dragging me away.

'Ow, ow, ow. Nora what's going on? Why are you crying?'

She stopped in a kinda deserted hall and turned to face me.

She placed her hands on my shoulders gently.

'Ted, I'm pregnant.'

'Um...Yeah, congrats?' I didn't know where to look.

'_That's_ your reaction?'

'Ooh congratulations!' I said in a happier voice but just got hit up the arm.

'Aren't you worried who the father is?!'

'Well it's hardly Barney...?'

'Why wouldn't it be!'

I shifted awkwardly,

'Is it?'

'Well, no..'

'How far along are you?' I asked, casually looking down at her tummy which was actually covered up with a baggy sweater.

'I got checked. Fourteen weeks.'

'So it couldn't possibly be Barney's, you weren't even together...Wait...Is that why you two were getting married?!'

'Yes.'

'And why you lived together!'

'Yeah..'

'Man I thought you were just _insane_.'

'Gee, thanks.'

'So who is the father then?'

'That's the thing you see, I don't know him besides the fact that he's a doctor here. Which to be honest is fairly new information.'

'That why you're crying?'

'Partly.'

I sighed and leaned on the wall,

'You gonna talk to him?'

'Can't find him. Was going to but he sorta disappeared down that direction.' She gestured vaguely down some hall and I looked down thoughtfully.

'Well, let's go then.' She gave me a half smile and I took her hand.

We began our little walk while she filled me in on what went down with her and Barney, pretty predictable stuff if you ask me and typical Barney but then we just sorta dissolved into silence.

We checked all the empty rooms with the lights off and peeked in the little windows of other rooms.

We were literally about to give up when we saw a staff room, maybe another doctor would know his description?

All I know is that the decision to walk into that staff room at that particular moment will go on my top ten worst moments of my entire life.

So Far.

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><p><strong>Princess-Of-Fire1212 Thanks for the reviews! You rock!<strong>

**akcaloks Thanks for the review! Glad your liking the story! **

**NumbistheNewHigh You've just started reading so hopefully this'll be a surprise when you get here but thanks for the amazing reviews you left.**

**And thanks X a billion for the guest reviews aswell!**

**Ok I'm gonna leave now hehe,**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Shoutouts in the next chapter.**

**And thankyou Roselynn you little lamb don't know what I'd do without my beta, you rock girl. **


	21. Second Date Material

**Why aren't you guys reviewing! I see your little views you know! Hahaha, c'mon early update and everything, can't I have a review ? :) Can I just say this chapter was soso fun to write and I want to thank my girl Roselynn, check her out! **

**Little cutesy chapter, hope you like!**

**PS I'm going a million miles away from the canon with the baby and stuff because I started writing this before Lily had her baby in the series :)**

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><p><strong>Barney POV<strong>

Lily and Marshall had named the new baby girl Lana and I had to admit she was pretty cute, she'd just turned two weeks old and I was just chilling in some coffee shop with Lily and the baby for their very first outing.

So let me just fill you in on the events at the hospital two weeks ago.

Robin and I had sneaked off to make out in a closet and while we were gone Nora and Ted had walked in on Rebecca and Mason getting down and dirty (I _know_!). Cue major freak outs and a huge arguement between all of them over _so_ many things.

I guess Nora just left though because none of us had saw her since it, I kinda felt bad for Lil to be honest. This was all supposed to be going well and be all about her and Marshall and the baby but not all this drama.

Mason and I ended up exchanging a few text messages somehow aswell, he hadn't spoke to Nora and Rebecca still didn't know Nora slept with Mason let alone that she was all pregnant and stuff and to be honest I really didn't wanna be around when all that was found out.

And _Ted_, oh dear God he needed help and I was sure as hell not giving it to him. Talk about being a downer. He still wouldn't discuss the gory details with me about what he saw in that staff room but let me tell you they must have been being pretty bad with the actual state my Teddy boy was in. Rebecca had been calling him non stop but I obviously blocked her number from his phone in his apartment and his cell was currently buried deep within my underwear drawer, constantly vibrating suspiciously.

'Barney, helloo?' Lily was shaking a hand in front of my eyes then holding a very droopy-headed Lana out to me, seriously her chin was like on her shoulder and she was still sleeping soundly. I'd need at least three vodkas before I'd be ok with sleeping like that.

'Ooh, sorry Lil,' I muttered and took the baby, 'Just kinda distracted.' I chuckled.

'Still worried?'

'Yeah...' I was absolutely pure, over-the-moon lying. Lily gave me a sad smile and mumbled something about the ladies room, leaving me with heavy-head Lana and my thoughts. I had things to ponder.

I wasn't a bit worried, well I was worried about Ted or whatever but I was almost too happy to care about all the bull that was going on because I was with Robin. Kinda.

After the hospital it was almost awkward, it could have been the in-the-moment impulse decision to just go ahead and get together that was wrong, should we have talked it through a little more? We were both unclear still about what the other really wanted and we'd barely saw eachother due to her stupid job ending at five am and mine starting at six am.

Today was Sunday and we both had the whole complete day off work. Our First-Official-Date was today because she had to work last Sunday, we were actually supposed to go out last Sunday and I'm kinda glad she was called into work 'cause I'd thrown up all over a homeless man's shoes on the way to her apartment. Damn nerves, smooth, Stinson. Very smooth.

Lily sauntered back into the room and her eyes almost popped out of her head when she saw us,

'Barney!'

'What?!' I cried, looking around and holding Lana a little tighter.

'She's smiling!'

I looked down and right enough little Lana had a big, stupid baby smile on her face.

'It's probably just gas,' I said, smirking but Lily didn't even hear me.

She scooped her up and was cuddling her close and cooing stupid little comments, 'Aw, La-la you're so smart, you're so sweet.' Blah, blah, blah.

'Time to go, Lil.' I chuckled and we packed up our things, it was a nice warm day and I enjoyed the silence between us as we walked down the very noisy street, you got used to it though living here long enough. It was the smell you could never seem to shake.

'So where's Robin today?' It was an innocent enough question Lily was asking but the way she was looking up at me made me feel kinda suspicious. I may have made matters worse with my reply;

'Pfft, why should I know.'

'Hmm, you two just seem to be getting on quite well recently, can't blame me for askin,' She was smirking.

What did she know? Nothing, I hope.

I looked at her skeptically and she chuckled,

'It's ok, Barney.' She rolled her eyes at me,

'What's ok?' I asked eagerly.

She just smiled. What's with all the damn smiling?! Goddammit woman.

'Bye, Barney, ' She breezed and went off to the left with Lana into her building. I stared after her like a...goldfish? Whatever, the point is that she made me even more nervous for today.

I got distracted by (Sorry Robin) a woman, about a seven to be honest but well worth looking at, walking down the street towards me and I didn't register the fact that I knew her or that she was crying until she walked right smack into me and dropped like a thousand things from her bag all over the street.

'Oh, oh, oh I'm sorry,' She sniffed and when she got to her feet I realised she was Tommy's mom.

'Hey, Martha are you alright?'

She didn't even acknowledge that she actually knew me and just nodded and moved on walking down the street.

Damn, that was weird.

Just a half hour until I had to meet Robin. God!

I ended up walking home to change again for the third time today, did I really need to impress her this much? It was easy for her, she was always pretty. She's look pretty wearing a cardboard box.

I shook my head and went to make coffee which I spilled all over myself, well done Barney that was incredibly cool.

Another ten minutes changing again and I was officially late for Robin's, she wasn't the type to call and call if you were late and she honestly wouldn't care if I was but I felt like I was proving something. So I skipped the cab which was a good idea I realised when I walked around the corner to see the massive amounts of traffic. I'm pretty sure I'm like physic they may as well put me on the news already, It'd certainly boost their ratings.

I skipped every two steps going up the stairs to her apartment, the elevator in her building was actually broken which is a funny story I'll tell you another time.

Ok, I wasn't getting nervous or frustrated. I was perfectly fine. Nothing was wrong.

I SAID NOTHING WAS WRONG.

Whoa, deep breaths Stinson.

All my worries literally melted away the second I saw her when she opened the door. Her smile, her eyes, her expression. Damn, she had me wrapped around her finger. Can't show it though, no way in hell. Act casual, man you can do it.

'Robs,' I greeted her with a quick kiss on the lips and she smiled and let me past her into the apartment. Her eyes looked a bit red and she was acting kinda weird.

'You look nice,' She said with a chuckle, looking me over.

'What? This thing? Just threw it on.' Casual.

'Whatever you say, baby.' She sorta smirked but it was half-hearted and I followed behind her with a hand in hers to the kitchen,

'Where's Kyle and Katie?' I asked, something was definitely up and they seemed like a good first guess.

'I actually had to talk to you about that, they're actually gonna ah, move back in with my parents.' She was looking down when she said it, obviously sad Katie was leaving but that didn't seem to be the whole story.

'Hey, ' I said, lifting her chin to look at me and resting a hand on her lower back. 'Don't worry yourself about it, you'll still see her. All the time, I promise. I may even visit that hell hole you like to call Canada, ' I said it so softly I think I surprised the both of us and a small smile crept onto her face.

She sighed deeply and leaned into me, 'I was just worried about the fact that my dad doesn't even trust me to help look after her,'

'She's not a baby anymore, Robs.'

'I know that. She's _having_ a baby, Barney. My little Kitty-Kat, having a _baby_.'

'I thought you'd come to terms with it?'

She sniffed a bit and I looked down to see her eyes looked watery.

'Hey, hey, hey.' I furiously rubbed the tears away from her cheeks and led her to the couch with me. She was curled up on my chest and her hair smelled so good. This wasn't how I'd imagined our date to start but I was kinda glad it did. I absently was drawing patterns into Robin's back as she told me about all her dad-related worries. I was just making positive and negative noises at all the right places while she got it all out.

Eventually she was all cried out and the conversation naturally drifted onto other stuff, we talked and talked like we never had before and it was amazing. I didn't have to be outrageous or anything and she still hung on to every word I spoke about my mom and stupid pets and my childhood. Stuff that friends like us should have already known about eachother but believe me when I say there's a _lot_ of stuff we'd missed, we'd been talking and flirting and just sitting _being_ together for three hours but it had honestly felt like five minutes.

That's the effect she had on me, I was officially under her spell. I mean ya know, she's not a witch ofcourse. Well, I don't think so anyw- Ok I'm being ridiculous I'll shut up now sorry.

'Oh my God, Barney it's like six already.'

'Time flys, baby.' I said lazily and leaned in to kiss her. She deepened that kiss and it was heaven. It felt familiar and I didn't want to ever let her go. She was my Robs.

'This is the best date I've ever had,' I smiled.

'Oh really?' She replied, laughing.

'Yep.'

'Even better than that time with the weather lady from channel five in the hot air balloon?'

'Yep.'

'Even better than with that astronaut lady in a half built space shuttle at NASA?'

'Yep.'

'Even better than that-'

'-Better than every date I've had ever. Ten times better.' I interrupted and a huge smile spread across her face.

'You're awesome, Barney Stinson.'

'I know,' I said briefly.

'So am I second date material?'

'Meh, we'll see.' I teased and she hit me up the arm playfully, I grabbed her arm and dragged her on top of me but she ended up trying to wiggle free and falling off the couch. I couldn't stop laughing, I was almost crying.

She looked so grumpy when she sat up so I gave her a big hug and she softened.

'Pizza?' She asked enthusiastically.

'Sounds amazing.'

She actually giggled and jumped off the couch to go call the pizza, I was once again left alone with my thoughts. I thought about the Ted thing. And the Nora thing. And the Mason thing. Then I decided that I was gonna let the future Barney deal with that and not worry about anything but Robin for the rest of the night.

She came back into the room and jumped onto the couch beside me again, she had something behind her back and moved from my sight when I tried to see,

'What have you got?' She was grinning mischievously and I couldn't help smile at the look on her face, it was too damn adorable.

'Present for you,'

'How thoughtful, lemme see.'

'Hmm, ok!' She brought her hands around and opened them to reveal the biggest, stupidest spider I'd seen in a while. I did not like spiders, she knew that.

I shrieked like a little six year old girl and jumped off the couch, using the armchair as a barrier between me and that damn tarantula.

'What's the matter?!' She was in hysterics and it fell from her hands and started crawling right towards me! It was pissed!

'Robin, Robin, Robin get it!'

She was giggling so much as she went grabbed the spider and casually set it on the outside window ledge.

'Close it, close the window woman.'

She gave me a look and purposely closed it slowly, smirking at my reaction. I was in _no_ mood, damn spiders were not a joke!

'Aw, sowwy Barney.' She pretend pouted and I swear it was the cutest thing ever. I didn't hesitate in going over, grabbing her hips and giving her a kiss she'd rememer for a long time.

She broke the kiss lazily after a few minutes and sighed contently.

'So, I can add spiders to the list of things Mr Stinson hates?'

'Correct, what else is on this list by the way?'

'Hmm, Committment, most children, cats, pop rocks and spiders?'

I paused for a minute.

'Pop rocks are a crime against nature.' She chuckled, 'And I don't hate committment. It...scares me.'

'Hmm,' She looked thoughtful. 'Me too as a matter of fact.'

'I'm not scared right now. Are you?'

'Nope, I'm totally fine. I usually freak the hell out at about this time.'

'Me too.' We just stared at eachother.

I knew what she was thinking, what she wanted to tell me right now. I wanted to tell it to her too. But we weren't that simple. Three little words, so easy to think and hard to say. Sounds damn cheesy right? I wanted to say it. Couldn't I just say it? It would be so perfect right now.

Say it.

'I should be going,'

Not that. Why did I say that?!

'Oh,' She breathed and stepped out of my arms, looking awkward. I pressed my eyes closed in regret. What the hell was I thinking?

I kissed her forehead when we'd got to the door, she had a faraway look in her eyes and was avoiding eye contact. God. Damn.

I couldn't leave it like this, I placed my hands on her shoulders and she looked up at me with her big brown eyes.

I still couldn't say it.

What's wrong with me?!

I breathed in deeply and leaned my forehead against hers,

'Do you know what I've been trying to say?'

'I don't wanna assume anything, don't wanna get my hopes up.' She replied. I chuckled, she was so modest.

'Well...I do. I 'you-know-what' you.' I said sheepishly.

'And I do to.'

We grinned at eachother and ended up laughing. I felt so happy right then. I forgot about everything but her, it was legendary.

Surprise, surprise Barney it's not so bad.

'Where you goin' anyway?' She asked playfully,

'My apartment?'

'You're not going anywhere tonight.' She replied with a smirk.

Sweet.

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><p><strong>Time to Reviewwww! :) Pretty please? Shout-outs to all reviews!<strong>


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